After reading the remaining letters from Camila, Lauren can't will herself to open the last one. The ones she read hurts enough and she knew in this letter Camila already let go, that she finally accept defeat and did what Lauren asks her during the time she 'thought' she have feelings for Phoebe.
She then remembered the time she broke up with her, she was beyond furious at her, telling her mean things that she accepted due to her guilt. It was painful than slap in the face, because deep down she knew back then the girl's words are true. She regret everything, but that's it. She's sorry and not proud of her mistakes but there is no way for her to turn back time and do things the right way.
We have lots of chances that we refuse to grab due to our stubborness, Lauren the living proof for that. Camila gave her lots of chances, even during the times she haven't broke up with her. It was a really stupid thing on her part to let go of her, yes Camila and Lauren did fight lots of times before but this is the first time one of them refuse to fix things. Looking back to it, if before Lauren see it that Camila relied so much on her and took her for granted it turns out it's the other way around. Her perception on it now is so much different. She knew back then that her ex-girlfriend love her so much that she didn't cherish as much as she should. And now she's gone.
Everyone thought, especially the two of them are the end game of each other. That until the end it would still be them. They are more than just best friends. And until now she can't fathom why so suddenly, she thought that she fell out of love. That's why she doesn't want to give up middle endings, she much prefer it than happy endings.
With all the courage she musteres, she opened the letter with trembing hands. She took a sharp breath, preparing to what's to come.
Lauren, I will wait for you.
The green eyed girl blinked a couple of times to make sure she's not imagining things, it wasn't what she expected. She expected it to be Camila's good bye letter but instead that's all that is written on the paper.
And suddenly she felt like jumping with joy but stopped herself lot of things happened already and the letter was 7 months ago, it was also during the time Camila stopped trying to fix their relationship. That was also the time Shawn showed up in the picture. What if? What if Camila still means it? Ally even said just yesterday that Camila isn't mad anymore, that it was her who lost her. This is all confusing Lauren. She doesn't want to raise her hopes too high, she know that, that isn't a good thing especially when things turns out to be the other way around.
Lauren does want to talk to Camila but she is afraid it's not the right time. That she'll just mess up everything more. She buried her face on the palm of her hands and groaned. She hope that she can still read Camila like before, but she is so much different now. She is so good at hiding her true feelings.
Lauren raised her head and was met by a pair of brown eyes, she stared longingly at those eyes. The eyes she loved and still do, so much. That despite Camila saying hers are way more beautiful because brown eyes are boring Lauren never believed.
But it wasn't Camila herself, it was only her big picture on Lauren's wall, that up until now is hanging there as if looking after Lauren. It makes other people feel weird, even Camila herself tease her about it but Lauren love the idea of waking up and be greeted by her favorite pair of eyes.
And in an instant Lauren stood up, grabbed her phone and headed downstairs. Her mind made up, she would talk to Camila. She doesn't care about it not being the right time, and she won't care what will the out come will be. She would talk to her and explain her side and if Camila came up with the decision of not forgiving her then, it's okay. If Camila doesn't want her to be part of her life anymore then she would accept and respect it.
