For His Entertainment

Chapter Thirty-Five

"You dropped your subjects?"

Napapikit ako at napabuntong hininga. Dad is a man of few words, and every time he speaks, he's serious.

So I know that he's upset with me.

"Dad..." I trailed, yet I didn't know what to say.

"What do you want to do with your life?" Tumaas ang boses niya. "You want it to go to waste?"

"Dad... I want to pursue my dream," I tried to explain but he just shook his head.

"Dream? Maging modelo? Maging artista? Is that even a profession? Will that even lead you to success?!"

Mom immediately went to me at hinaplos niya ang braso ko. I bowed my head down because I didn't want to say anything that would disappoint them even though it would be at the expense of explaining myself, explaining who I really want to be.

"Your mom and I are working hard to build both you and Steven a future," He continued. "All you needed to do was get a degree and manage the business. Everything is already handed to you on a silver platter! Yet here you are, trying to put it all to waste because you wanted to be an actress!"

Napapikit ako nang mariin at naramdaman ang pag-iinit ng dulo ng mga mata ko. My very own father is belittling something I have ever wanted. What if I don't want the life they're offering? What if I have my plans for myself? I'm doing everything I could to make them proud. I took the course I'm not even interested with. I was a scholar, I gained so many medals and achievements, yet here he is, shoving to my face how worthless I am as their daughter.

I kept my mouth shut kahit na gustong gusto ko nang sabihin ang mga salitang 'yan, because somehow I still respect them, at ayokong kahit respeto ay maubos na.

"Rey, that's enough."

"No, Marge, your daughter needs to hear this," He started walking near me. "Steven told us everything you've been doing in school. Your bad reputation is our bad reputation. We are going public, Aleandra! Have you even considered that?"

"Dad, please, babalik ako sa school but I want to pursue something I have always wanted."

"Your mom and I never had this opportunity before," Padabog niya akong nilagpasan. "and yet you're showing how ungrateful you are. I am so disappointed at you. Until you learn your lesson, you are grounded, Aleandra Margarette."

And that was the worst thing you can hear from a parent.

Tuluyan nang bumagsak ang luha sa mga mata ko. Kaya ko naman kung sa iba ko iyon maririnig. Lahat nang pangiinsulto na tinatapon nila sa akin, tinatanggap ko nang buong buo. Pero iyong galing sa kanila? Na hindi man lang nila ako pinakinggan?

That broke me.

"I'm sorry, honey. I'll talk to him," Mom gave me an apologetic look before following my dad. Nanghina ako. I know, ramdam na ramdam ko nang ako ang black sheep ng pamilya, but hearing it out loud is a different story. Whatever I do, I will never be good enough for them. I was their least favorite ever since. I was this fragile little girl who felt so alone as a child, who was always against them, while kuya—he showed blind obedience. He said yes to everything they asked him.

I can't be like him. And I didn't want to be. That's something I'm not sorry about.

Tumakbo ako papunta sa kwarto ko, contemplating on what just happened earlier. I feel so inadequate—so worthless. I've been feeling like this my whole life with every people I meet and by now, I should be used to it. But I'm not. It still hurts me as fuck.