For His Entertainment

Chapter Fifty-three

Aleandra Margarette: the rising of a star

Hindi ko alam kung bakit ito ang pinapanood ko pagkatapos ng lahat ng nangyari kanina. Maybe I just wanted to look back. Yeah, that's it. I wanted to look back to when everything was still pure.

When it was still clear to me what I really wanted and how to do it.

The intro of the documentary showed a video of me in one of my early shoots, standing awkwardly with a foot stepped forward, all my weight on my other foot. In every flash of the camera, I struggled to create another pose.

Nevertheless, I looked different. I was glowing, and... I was happy. The passion and love was evident. The frame immediately shifted to a video of my very first interview. I was looking directly at the interviewer, my smile was genuine na halos hindi ko iyon makilala.

I can still remember this day like it was just yesterday. I was ecstatic and nervous all at once. Halos hindi ako nakatulog ng gabi bago ito so Apple had to put a large amount of concealer to cover my dark circles. I was laughing, I was excited.

I was full of life.

Those were the times.

I wonder, had I known that the place I am in now isn't the same way I pictured it out before, would I have gone for it still?

I grabbed my bottle of beer beside me and drank from it.

"How would you describe yourself?" The interviewer asked.

"Well, I'm just like everybody else. Siguro what sets me apart is my desire to reach my dream, and all the ways that I'm trying to " I answered without any hint of doubt in my voice.

"You're an inspiration to many of the young women who are afraid to pursue their dreams," the interviewer commented, a smile growing on her lips and a sense of pride in her voice. "But who inspires you? Any boyfriend?"

Nagulat ako nang biglang may mag-doorbell. I immediately closed my laptop and went towards the door. Isang buntong hininga ang pinakawalan ko nang makita ko sa peephole si Zach. He looked disoriented, his hair was a mess, and he can't even stand straight.

Binuksan ko nang kaunti ang pinto, only enough for him to see my face. "What do you want?"

Boy, he is drunk. Kahit na malayo-layo siya sa akin ay amoy ko na ang alak na nangagaling sa katawan niya. Sumandal siya sa pinto, dahilan para mausog iyon nang kaunti, pero agad ko siyang pinigilan. I put in as much force as I can to keep the distance between us.

"Why aren't you letting me in, babe?" He said groggily, this time knocking on my door. Sa boses niya pa lang ay nanlamig na agad ako. I know this tone, I know this voice.

"Leave me alone," nanginginig ang boses ko. I pushed even harder, trying to shut the door close, but the odds weren't in my favor. Dumoble na lamang ang tibok ng puso ko nang matumba ako dala ng lakas ng pagtulak niya sa kabilang parte ng pinto.

He's going to hurt me again. Ayon na lamang ang tanging sinisigaw ng utak ko.

"Zach..." my voice was trembling habang pinipilit kong tumayo nang tuwid.

Sinara niya ang pinto sa likod niya, creating a loud noise that echoed inside my hotel room. "I just have a question, Ally. And I want you to be honest."

Hinawakan ko ang braso ko in an attempt to somehow protect myself. But it was no help, I know it wasn't. It was just comforting knowing I can somehow do something aside from shaking in fear.  Despite it, I kept a straight face. I refuse to be intimidated by him.

"I can see the way you look at him, Ally." Pumukit siya nang mariin like he was being suffocated by his own words. "Do you still love him?"

Kumunot ang noo ko sa tanong niya. "No!"