For His Entertainment

Chapter Forty-seven

I was already dead.

I didn't know it was possible to die with a body that still functions. But here I am. Everyday, I have to wake up, hit the fucking gym, and do as I was told. Kapag sinabi nilang umiyak ako, kailangan kong umiyak. Kapag sinabi nilang tumawa ako, kailangan kong tumawa. Ni hindi ko na alam kung ano ang totoo kong nararamdaman.

The days just keep going and going. I need to smile for the camera. I need to show them that life is absolutely perfect. I need to keep it all in and at night, I'll cry it all out. It was all like that, again and again.

Ni hindi ko na nga maharap sina Adeline dahil hindi ko alam ang sasabihin. Hindi ko alam kung paano magsasalita. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko sasabihin ang ginagawa sa akin ni Zach. Lahat ng panggagago, lahat ng pagpapanggap.

I should escape.

I can escape. But where would I go? My condo, my car, even ten years of the rest of my life is bound by contract. I have little savings but it wasn't enough to start anew. The legal expenses itself to terminate my contract prematurely would already cost majority of my money. On top of that, everybody knows me. Kahit saan ako magpunta, kilala nila ako at kaunting galaw ko lang, may masasabi silang masama.

Shit.

Escaping is not an option.

Tiningnan ko ang bagong tagged photo sa akin ni Zach. Of course, as usual, women are swooning over him. A million likes is a million approval from people who has no idea what's behind his flashy grin.

my world in my arms.

That was his caption. This was during the recently concluded ball, both of us are smiling widely at the camera. He was looking at me while his hand rests at the small of my back. The photo was edited in a black and white filter to make things more dramatic. Halos masuka ako sa nakikita at nababasa ko. Ang daming kinikilig, ang daming naiinggit. Hell, the only person he's following is me!

But me? I'd gladly give them this bullshit of a life.

Ni-like ko iyong photo niya because that was what is expected of me at tinago iyon sa aking bulsa.

"You're not answering any of my calls," a voice too familiar spoke beside me. I didn't respond. Hell, I didn't even move. Nakatulala lang ako sa kape na tinimpla sa akin ng sekretarya ko.

"Ally—" I felt his hand on my arm. Agad ko iyon tinanggal at tinitigan siya. Zach's face angers me. It brings back a lot of things I'm desperate to forget. Everything.

"I'm tired, Zach," I sighed. I was almost pleading him to leave me alone.

"I thought we already talked about Miranda," he continued, completely ignoring my plea. I grimaced and brought my attention back on my cup of coffee. "She's nothing, Ally. I was just drunk."

Hindi ko pa rin siya pinansin. I sipped from my cup of coffee, now cold because of the temperature inside this room. Pinikit ko ang mga mata ko at sinubukang pakalmahin ang sarili. I hate him. I hate him so much. I thought being with him for years would make it at least tolerable, but no, he reminds me of the pain.

"What do you expect me to do? You won't let me touch you. The closest I can get is with our love scenes. A man has needs."

Nanlisik ang mga mata ko at tinitigan ko siya nang matalim. "Napakababaw mo. I don't fucking owe you anything, Zachaios, not even your needs."

"Oh, but you do, you're my girlfriend—"

"Stop," I commanded.

He snorted. "Why are you so in denial?"