For His Entertainment

Chapter Fifty-five

I was living in a time bomb.

It was only a matter of time before the news breaks out. Yet, I remain inside my room—powerless... helpless, counting the seconds until my own destruction.

Apple and Alexa were here, too. Gwen finally left to attend to Zach who is currently confined at the hospital. And Spencer... I've known him for a very long time but I've never seen him like this before. He was the personification of time bomb itself. It was as if I can see the seconds ticking. Pacing back and forth, his jaw was clenched and his eyebrows were furrowed.

At one point, he turned to look at me and I can see how red his eyes were from containing the rage inside him.

It was hurting me more than all the bruises I had to endure from Zach.

Galit pa rin ako sa kan'ya. Galit na galit. But at the end of the day, only he can console me. His mere scent was enough to keep me going through the years that I bought bottles of Bvlgari just to keep his presence close. And seeing him in pain was hurting me, too.

It was contradicting.

Hindi niya dapat ako nakikitang ganito. No... not like this. Not when everything is falling apart because this is not what I wanted to prove him.

I wanted to prove him that I'm okay without him. Na katulad niya, I've moved on. That's what he would've wanted me to do. The moment both of us got tired, the moment he walked away without coming back home, the moment we stopped... that's what both of us would've wanted for each other, that was the purpose of it all—to move on.

But who am I kidding? I associated myself to every character that I portray to bury all the memories I had with him. I accepted a mediocre life without him.

I was lying to myself.

I was cheating on myself.

And it was a whole new level of pathetic.

And he, he's okay. He flourished. He went on to manage their business. A part of me was angry with him... with myself. A part of me was jealous. I wanted to be okay, too.

So I accepted Zach because he loves me, or at least he used to.

And look where it got me.

I want him out of the room but at the same time, I know he's the only one who can keep me from falling apart. He's the glue that keeps me together.

I'm a fucking paradox.

What do I do now? It was a question revolving inside my head like the moon revolving around the Earth—constant and nonstop.

In just one night, everything I was trying to protect was destroyed. Lahat nang ginawa kong pagtitiis, pagpapanggap, ay napunta sa wala.

"You have the right to file a complaint," Apple said sympathetically, caressing my arms. "I can be your witness. I saw your bruises. Hanggang ngayon may pasa ka pa rin."

I shook my head at him to plead him to stop. Eveything was fucked up and I don't want to make things worse. But it was too late. It was only a matter of seconds before Spencer found his way beside me.

"He's..." he paused, as if trying to construct his own sentence. "He's beating you?" He croaked, na para bang kahit siya ay hirap na hirap sa tanong niya. Parang kahit siya hirap malaman ang sagot.

Ayokong sagutin. I don't want him to know that this is the life I've been leading, I've been curating. But it only took three words. Three words para mawala lahat ng pagpapanggap na iniipon ko.

I bowed my head down para hindi niya makita ang luha na tuloy-tuloy sa pagtulo. Tumango ako at ngumuso para pigilan ang paghagulgol.

He exhaled a sharp breath.