For His Entertainment

Chapter Fifty-nine

"He... changed." I said, the words choking me. I opened my eyes in the hopes that all my tears faded away, but no, they're still there. The lights were already beginning to blind me. The sad background music made everything worse.

"Changed, how?" Rachelle asked.

"Isang gabi, sinampal niya ako. The next morning, he said sorry so I let it go. Hanggang sa pinapahiya na niya ako sa mga crew. Then he'd be sweet again. Then he'd punch me on my face... he'd hold me tightly on my wrist until it felt like burning. Then he'd give me roses the next day as if..." I stopped for a while, the words halting at the tip of my tongue. I had to cover my face from the camera because I was already sobbing uncontrollably. "As if it would compensate."

One crew member reached a glass of water for me. Agad ko iyon kinuha at nilagok, the cold water finally wetting my dry throat. Ilang malalim na hininga ang pinakawalan ko para kalmahin ang sarili ko. This was harder than I imagined, reliving all of them in front of the camera.

Hinanap muli ng mga mata ko si Kuya Steven and he was there, clenching his jaw. But his expression softened when his eyes met mine. He nodded his head slightly to urge me to go on, and that was all I needed.

"So the charges you pressed against him are violation of RA 9262 and attempted rape, is that correct?" Rachelle clasped her fingers together and sat a little more forward towards me, giving me her full attention.

I nodded.

"Can you tell us more about it?" She asked cautiously.

"We were shooting our love scene," I continued, my voice cracking in every vibration of sound. "He... groped me in front of the camera and that wasn't even part of the script. That reminded him of his anger why I wasn't willing to..." I can't. I can't say it. Even my hands failed as a gesture.

"To sleep with him?" Rachelle continued. I nodded my head in embarrassment.

"He was drunk. He went to my room that night and..." Memories of that night started invading my mind. I can almost see him in front of me with his red eyes and I can almost smell the scent of alcohol from his mouth. I clenched my fist so hard that I can feel my nails digging on my palm. I can feel how the air was slowly and painfully leaving my lungs, until I was out of breath. The world around me was starting to crumble, my vision was a blur. "He tried to..." rape me.

No. I can't say the words. I... I refuse to.

"Ally?" Rachelle's voice was calling me numerous times, but it was an echo to my ear, like a voice calling from far away.

"Ally? Are you okay?"

"Huh?" I said and removed the earphones plugged in on my ears. I looked up at where the voice came from and saw Zach's worried face, but when our eyes met, he immediately changed it into a comforting one. I forced a smile and nodded my head. "Just tired."

"And you're still drinking beer?" Ngumuso siya sa hawak kong beer. He even looked at the empty can of beers resting at the sand. "C'mon Ally, we've been working for months already. I know who you are and that's not you," he sat down beside me. He offered me the can of beer he was holding to which I gladly accepted.

I was already feeling hot and tipsy, but that's the least of my concern. This is our last night shooting here and to hell with tomorrow's hangover. Tonight, I wanted to feel.

I've become so occupied with a lot of things that I'm slowly forgetting my own emotions... I'm slowly forgetting that I'm actually human.

"Not me?" I raised an eyebrow at him, opening the can of beer and drank the first taste of bitterness.