For His Entertainment

Chapter Forty-eight

I should've read the fucking script, that was all I'm thinking of while pacing back and forth inside the restroom, my heels creating a sound at each step. I bit on my nail while I keep on scolding myself.

If only I haven't had a breakdown last night, I would've prepared for this day. I would've trained myself harder to put another mask on. I already thought I was an expert at this, but now I can't even keep myself together.

And why is he here? What does he have to do with producing a film?! The anger and pain was producing an acid inside my stomach, slowly burning everything inside.

I jumped when someone knocked on the door. Isang malalim na hininga ang pinakawalan ko, trying to shoo all the doubts away.

"Y-yes?" I grimaced at the sound of the word in my mouth. It's obvious I'm having a hard time and my mere voice was giving it away.

"Ms. Estero? Do you need anything?" It was Alexa. I released the breath I didn't realize I was holding and looked at my reflection on the mirror. I closed my eyes for a second, and when I popped them open, my usual show look was back. The look that covers all the anxiety I keep inside, curdling inside my stomach.

"They're already looking for you," Alexa said in a worried tone.

"I'll be there in 5 minutes," I yelled back.

I grabbed the compact powder from my bag and started doing a retouch, erasing every hint of anxiety and frustration. My hair was perfectly curled at the ends and flowing freely on my back. Kinuha ko rin ang nude lipstick ko and reapplied it.

Game face on.

As I walked back on the conference room, I can already feel the tension going inside me. I can fill a pit in my stomach like a knife just stabbed it over and over. Isang malalim na hininga ang pinakawalan ko bago binuksan ang pinto. Suddenly, everyone's attention was shifted on me.

Being in this industry for years, I learned how to cope up with the attention everyone's giving. I learned how to conquer my very own fears and insecurities, but today, I felt different. I felt nauseous when their eyes are all on me, especially his.

I used to drown in those eyes. I used to be obsessed just to get a glimpse. And I fucking hate them now. It reminds me of so much.

They remind me of when I was too damn naïve. They remind me of his killer look whenever he dances. They remind me of childhood and I hate how I've known him for almost all my life that I used to know what he's thinking just by looking at them.

But now, his face is passive. I can't see any emotion, not even recognition. All I can feel is his ice cold stare, and I did my best to give him the same kind of stare.

Before we even knew how to love—hell, before we even knew how to kiss, we already knew each other. Whenever I think about the past, he's there. In every corner he's there. And I thought that was the best thing we had in our relationship. That was our edge.

I was wrong.

We know each other for so long that we know our fears, our weaknesses, our pain. And the moment anger clouds our reasoning, we know what to throw to each other. We know how to cut each other and make the wounds bleed so hard. We know how one hurts and we use that in our defense. And the damage has become irreparable.

Until there was nothing but pain.

"Finally!" Gwen went on my rescue. Dahan-dahan akong naglakad patungo sa upuan sa tabi ni Zach. His sudden change of mood was evident, not because of his aura, but because he's deliberately showing it. Halos nagdadabog na siya sa kan'yang upuan, protectively hiding me from Spencer's view.