Help (One Direction)

1. Nightmares

Kathryn’s POV

I can’t do it anymore; it hurts so bad I don’t even know what to do now. I couldn’t even stand on my two feet, or even knees at least. I wish I could just lie here all my life, but I have to move or else the pain won’t fade. I turn my head a few inches to my right to see the bedside table. I could use it to anchor myself up. Slowly but surely I grasp the edge of the table with all my might and used my ever hurting knees to slowly stand me up. It took it a few seconds for my eyes to get used to the horrid environment. I didn’t know this is what resulted to what happened. No, I think to myself as I clutch my chest in pain. My face was too drenched in sweat and the red stuff that I barely felt myself shed tears. The episode happened like it was ages ago in my mind, like it was just a dream. And it felt so overwhelming to see that it took place just a few minutes ago and that I felt as if I was numb to forget that feeling but it all comes back now.

“Austin! I’m home!” I shout from the door –even though I think he isn’t here at all- as I close door with my foot, removing the high heels aching my feet wondering why I even wore these to the grocery. Austin bought these pair for me but as much as I hate wearing heels, I also don’t like to see Austin frown; it’s probably illegal to do it so I do it once for him.

I put the brown bags down on the dining table and went for my bed to rest, I haven’t relaxed like this for a while today and this is probably the perfect time to do so. I think Austin will be back with pizza for dinner in a few, so I’ll just rest for a while.

Austin is my current boyfriend and I did it for reasons. One is because I really love him –legitimate enough, and another reason is that I owe him and his family practically my whole life so the least I could do is make his parents happy. His parents saved me from an accident years before and treated me like family ever since. Since they knew me and Austin had some sort of more-than-a-friend connection, we both insisted in being a couple, and I never complained because there’s no questioning that I love him just as he loves me.

There’s just that dark side of him that I didn’t want to see and that I dislike for that matter. I hate the fact that an angel like him has another side, a negative one. There are just those times when he just wants to be drunk one night, and then he just lets all his random anger out by breaking things in our flat. I have handled him at times by not making him angry and just move him away from the alcohol. I absolutely don’t know where he gets all his aggression when he’s wasted and why he’s so mad when he’s like that, his anger, his sudden strength, maybe it’s from the stress handling with his family.

I hate to think that his father is a criminal and he’s quite abusive and he would take control of his son and to think that I would always be watching as his mother would stop him and run to his son. But he still took advantage of him and soon afterwards, mother died in a horrible accident because of him. She was our only hope of changing our lives but she went away just like that, and she took half of our hearts with her. Since then, Austin would always be out in the bar every night, getting wasted till the morning, and sometimes he just doesn’t go home, and as much as I love him, I couldn’t bear to look at him like that every time. Since our mum went away, I’m the only one who understands him besides her. So one night he planned to get out of their house and live in a flat with him in London and start off new, and from there he kept me a promise that he won’t drink again and he’ll change, for me and for his own good too, in exchange of me not leaving him. “You’re all I have,” He said that night when I doubted him.

We’ve been together for two years now and in that span of time, he hasn’t drunk, which was a really big achievement for him and I was definitely proud. When he isn’t drunk, he is the sweetest thing ever, I would never replace him for anything, take it from me. He surprises me with kisses and dates and just anything I like, it’s even scary how I’m still falling for him.