Help (One Direction)

16. Kathryn

Louis’ POV

“Katie,” My voice echoes in a empty space, a white space as I called Kathryn.

From behind, I could easily tell it was her, though it seemed like her other arm wasn’t lifeless, so it was a first, but even though, she looked perfect every angle possible.

“Lou?” She turned her heel to face me a few yards away. Her face was lovely and she was smiling at me, and it made my heart flutter out of my chest, I began to grow my own grin. I feel myself jump inside when she smiles at me like that. That kind of luring smile that makes me melt. I walked towards her and my pace quickens every second. I just want to grab her then and there and hug her tight, like what I’ve been dreaming for quite some time now.

But that dream faded as quickly as I ran. I stopped and winced on my spot. Her smile was still there, and I still have the urge to go to her, but I stopped. I turned my head to see Zayn rushing behind me, running past me until he came to Kath, and she was ready for him. I could feel my knees trembling and my eyes producing moisture.

I don’t know what to do, but die. As much as I’d want to retract, I just couldn’t keep my eyes off of them. Like I want to see them in front of me, as a reminder that I’ll never have Kathryn, because Zayn will always be there to keep her protected. Can the nightmare end?

To see them like this, it’s disgusting. They were now, I don’t know, doing whatever couples do –if they’re even one-. And they kiss. I couldn’t bear the scene before me. My hands were sweating like crazy and I tried not to look at them, but I couldn’t. No PDA here, please. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, trying to block the feeling of jealousy out.

My eyes were open again and to my surprise, there was no white space and there was definitely no Kathryn and Zayn making out session. All I could see was the ceiling. Thank God.

I sat up straight and looked at my surroundings. It was dark in the room as all the lights were out and everyone was still asleep. The sun slowly starts to come up and some light went through the curtains and into the room. I looked over to the direction of Zayn and Kathryn, they were still in the position they were in last night. I could feel my tears mix up with sweat.

I stood up, since we were quite cramped down here and head outside. I need fresh air to breathe. I can’t believe a dream would make me feel like this, like it was some kind of nightmare.

It was cold out, I could tell because the windows were lightly frosted. I grabbed my jacket; not bothering to change into decent clothes as I’ll only be out a few minutes, the lads won’t even know I was gone.

I stepped out of the flat and rubbed my hands together, generating heat into them as the cold wind began to blow, ruffling my hair. I absolutely don’t know where I was heading but I just needed a walk, it seemed like walking was always the solution for me, walking is always a significant part in anyone’s lives, whether it maybe going on a date and strolling through the park, or either walking to think about your thoughts. I’d keep walking, until my mind would be clear.

Kath, I love her. I don't know when it started but... it just did. I’m falling hard for her, but at the same time I’m not sure. I need to make sure my feelings for her were right than thinking it may only be a one-time fling. Though how do I make myself sure? I never really had the time to be with Kathryn because Zayn would always take her out somewhere, anywhere really, you would never see the day that Kathryn isn’t with Zayn or vice versa.

It was impossible to keep them separated, because of Zayn always getting into the picture. He was like her bodyguard. I know she needed a bit of taking care of, but she didn’t need a bodyguard. He wasn’t hers, and she wasn’t his, they have no label for themselves but they’re pretty much inseparable. Their feelings are mutual.