Help (One Direction)

32. Letter

Kathryn’s POV

I get home from school to receive something from the mail. Who could it be? It could be anyone though. Why am I over thinking this? This might not even be mine, maybe Anne’s. I have to remember that this is not my house and that someday soon, Anne will be back.

I bend down to look at the information regarding the package. It is addressed to me, but no recipient nor address, nothing but my name. I lift the box up but I am too weak to lift it, though it is practically light, I am getting too weak for anything, but what causes it? Damn it, I don’t want to care.

But I have to care.

But I don’t want to.

So I get into the house first, drop my bag, and carry the box again, being lighter than before because then I was wearing my heavy bag.

I am excited yet at the same time anxious because I am clueless to who this is from. It could be from, Austin, or Anne, or Tina. Or the boys. It could be from them too. But you’ll never really know until you open it.

I remove the brown tape off and open the flaps of the box. These are my clothes. The rest of the clothes that I left in Liam’s flat. There is a piece of paper at the bottom of the box when I rummaged through everything.

I know you might never want to talk or be involved with me again but I just want to return these to you as a sign of my apologies to you. To be honest, I didn’t really want to return these because they all smell like you, and I miss you. I know what I did was wrong for so many reasons and at the top of that list is lying. I hate lying to everyone about us, that we’re together but I just hate that uneasy feeling knowing there will be someone out there if not someone we already know that will sweep you off your feet and I am afraid that it might not be me. I’m a guy, I get jealous and overprotective but it only means that I care too much from the very start. Even when we first talked, I already wanted you because… I just knew, and I never want to let you go. I guess I just felt that feeling right away when you smiled at me, when you talked to me, everything. They would say it’d be too sudden because we’ve only met for a short period of time but I felt like I already knew you my whole life. So don’t wonder why I don’t want to lose you.

I won’t even force you to reply to this, I just want to let you know that I’m still here and apologizing until you make up your mind and I would undo everything if you come back. I love you.

-Zayn Malik

My eyes swell with tears at the letter. I can’t decipher anything but the letter right now and it all just hurt so bad. I miss Zayn, but my mind tells me I shouldn’t  do this, that he’s only luring me back into him like a vortex, the possibility of him hurting me is nothing impossible.

When I put the clothes back in their drawers, my mind doesn’t think of ironing or folding the clothes correctly, my mind is in no mood for thinking than if it is Zayn. There is one person who set Zayn off the edge so bad that he had to make a quick decision to make me unavailable to him and anyone else.

I couldn’t just go back to him right away after reading his note. He would think he got me easily which in fact he did. I have to think this through, again.

---

The next day someone knocks on my door. Please let it be Zayn, I slowly beg. I want to see his face but onto more important matters, who could this be?

Austin, it could be him. I need to stop thinking about him because if I don’t stop, sooner or later my hunches will turn to reality and Austin will really be on my door.

Zayn, it is Zayn, I know he will take me back and I want him to.

I open my door eager enough to see his face.

“Hi,” I say. He wasn’t whom I expected. “Come in,” I give him the brightest smile and he enters the house, has he been here before? I think all of them have, how again?

“How have you been?” He asks me and I let him sit on the couch. I hope Anne wouldn’t mind having visitors. How have I been? Worse? I guess worse is the answer, devastated, longing, miserable, shall I go on?

“Fine, I guess.” That feeling when you can’t just tell him what you feel although you can because you hate having to be pitied by the person. “I know you’re not. You can tell me later.” How come he can read minds now?

“Have you been out and about on your bike?” He examines the house and clearly with the framed pictures of Anne, Jade, and their family, this isn’t my house.

“If by out and about, you mean school, then yes. After school I go home immediately, the only time I go out is when I buy groceries,” I try to be strict when it comes to my finances so I make sure everything I pay, I will use wisely. “But the rest of my time, I’m here at home, doing homework, or entertaining myself somehow. Thank goodness there are only a few times that I’ve been caught by those paparazzi people.” I look back at him and he gives me a smile that I’m already sharing so much and he’s only asked for one thing.

“Interesting life you’re having, I must say,” He jokes and I laugh. Has it been a while since we’ve talked and laughed like this, this real? I love how he is still the same charming self even when the situation is tight, even if he is not involved, he cares as if he is.

“I know right,” I chuckle as I go to the kitchen to give him a glass of orange juice. It’s all I’ve been drinking and I think it is what I need, natural beverage. I come back and give him the glass as he thanks me.

“Wait, I have to show you something.” I take his hand after he places the glass down the coaster. He is obviously surprised by my action and I lead him upstairs.

---

I should tell you, you better not think this guy is Zayn, think twice people.

Oh, and I have to tell ya'll something important, there will be more or less 40 chapters -maybe 39- in the whole story, epilogue not included yet, so we're almost done with this adventure!

Oh, and Idina Menzel did very well on the Oscars! Haha :)

Have a great day ahead of you!