I'm A Loser

Chapter 64.

That morning felt like a slow motioned scene from a surreal film. Sound was non existent, people moved around me without making a sound and telling me the same old shit I didn't even want to hear anymore. I sat in a hospital bed for the first few hours just letting the nurses prick me with needles and consult me with words.

Just staring out the window and watching leaves fall off trees. The whole world decided to finally catch up with everyone and fuck me over in the worst way possible. I sat in a wheelchair and looked over at Stu who walked into the room.

"I lost it. Now you don't have a reason." I looked back out the window. "Now you can be with her."

I sat still as the sound of his footsteps grew closer. A hand on my shoulder. His lips kissing the top of my head. "I'll never leave you Molly."

"What if I left you?" I asked.

"You wont."

I couldn't help breaking a small smile. "You're so full of yourself. How long were you here?"

"All night. Slept out in the waiting area on a fuckin bench."

"Were you uncomfortable?"

"Very."

"Good."

He chuckled and turned me around, kneeling infront of me and hugging me tightly. I wrapped my arms around him and enjoyed our embrace.

"I love you so much." He mumbled while his face was buried between my breasts. I heard the hurt and cries in his voice. He looked up at me with red eyes. "He would've been beautiful."

I felt myself breakdown in that moment. We both just held one another, crying and reminding one another just how much we needed the other in this life.
....

"Are you alright?" He asked, walking with me inside the house. I shook my head and rested a hand on my flat stomach.

"No."

"Me either. I um....got a call yesterday from a college 'ere in Germany. I 'ave to go down to check it out and speak to an instructor. I just...I don't want to leave you and I still 'ave practice...."

I nodded. "Forget the band. Focus on yourself and your future."

"You're my future Molly. Come with me?? We can go up, shower and head on off."

"Wouldn't John be mad?" I asked as we headed up the stairs.

"Furious." He smirked.
.....

Astrid was gone the entire time we showered and dressed for the day. I knew Stu must have felt worried or curious as to where she must have been but his focus on me right now put that on the end of his list. Right now it was all about me and to be honest, it felt great to be the center of his attention again.

"I'm a bit nervous me. I mean, what if they all speak German and I'm just standin like a fuckin knobhead without a clue as to what they're sayin??" He rambled on as we held hands down the road. I giggled and looked up at him.

"Then we'll both be knobheads."

He smiled and looked down at me. "You're somethin Molly. I love you."

"I love you too." I enjoyed his kiss as he stopped us in the middle of the busy walkway.
....

I stood on my tiptoes, fixing his hair and taking his sunglasses off. He made a face and tried putting them on again but I snatched them away.

"Stop that." I whined.

"Molly I need those."

"Oh yeah and they're goin to think you're crazy wearing sunglasses inside. They're staying in here." I set his shades in my purse. He was about to speak until a man came out to greet us.