to the moon. /m.c./

t h i r t y

 "'Uh, thanks?' You absolute idiot!"

I sighed loudly. "I'm so stupid! Joy, why can't I be good at romance?"

"You don't love him, do you...?" She looked me dead in the eyes. "And don't you lie to me, Josie."

I stood, looking at my watch. "I really need to go...I've got work..."

"Josie. Look me in the eyes and tell me you're not in love with Ashton."

I felt a tear threatening to escape my eye. "I don't...this isn't fair, Joy."

"Josie. Tell me right now—"

"I'm leaving. Don't try to follow me!" I grabbed my jacket and sprinted out of the building, not stopping until I reached the bookstore. I changed into my uniform and walked the aisles slowly, trying to stay composed. "Stupid freaking—"

"Josie! Hey, how are you—" Michael looked me in the eyes, frowning. "You look horrible."

"Thanks, Michael, that's just what every girl wants to hear."

Michael sighed and hugged me. "You know that's not what I mean. Will you please just...please come and talk to me for a minute?"

I walked across the store with Michael, stopping at the corner I always read in. "Why do you want to talk so badly, Michael?"

"I spoke with Ashton, he's...worried. I want to see what you're thinking."

"Michael," I rubbed at my eyes, "Ashton hasn't spoken to me for almost a week."

"Josie, what's bothering you?"

I turned to him and began sobbing. "Ashton told me that he loved me, and I didn't say I love you back because...I don't know, I don't think I do, but it's been so long, and it's been so great...but no matter what I do, I can't seem to get you off of my mind, and I hate you for that, I really do..." I sniffled, and then began rambling again. "I don't understand. You and I were friends. That's all we were from the beginning, you even said so...but I thought we were going on dates...and then Chelsea...ugh...I hate this so much."

Michael stroked my hair. "I'm sorry, kitten. How can I help?"

I stood, enraged. "Help? You've helped quite enough, Michael. Kissing me in the middle of my shift, and getting your two goon friends to try and convince me to date you?"

"My two goon friends? Who?"

"Calum and Luke! Even after all I did to help you get a recording deal, all you do is make me think of you, and I can't stand it!"

"I'm sorry, Josie."

"Yeah," I sat back down, rubbing my eyes, "I'm sorry too."