to the moon. /m.c./

t h i r t y t w o

"Do you love him?" Ashton's eyes were fixed on mine, and I frowned, staying silent. "Josie, I need you to be honest with me."

"I..." I bit my lip and turned away from Ashton. "He kissed me. And I didn't know what to do..."

"Did you stop him?" Ashton's voice was small, and quiet. It hurt me to hear him like this, even more now that I knew I was the one hurting him.

"No..." I almost whispered. "I didn't." The silence following my words was painful, almost tearing me apart. "Ash. Say something."

"Why?" Was all he could manage, burying his face in his hands. "Why would you...why didn't you stop him?"

I felt beyond guilty. "I don't know...he caught me off guard, and--"

"Josie. Please don't lie to me. I need to hear what's going on between you and Michael because I need to tell you something."

I sat up and took in a deep breath. "Ashton, I think I might be falling for Michael."

Ashton went dead silent. I looked up to find him undoing the red bandana tied around his forehead, using it as something to busy his fingers while we sat together in near silence.

"Ash?"

"Did you ever love me?"

It was as though my mouth was dry. I sighed, tears rolling down my cheeks as I shook my head. "I'm so sorry, Ashton."

He shook his head and smiled sadly. "That's a good thing. Because after what I say, you're going to hate me."

"What is it?"

Tears began rolling down his face even before he said anything to me.

"Josie, I never meant to hurt you...it was the worst decision I'd ever made. Please don't be upset with me. She threatened to blackmail me if I didn't tell you."

"What, Ashton?" My heart was beating faster and faster.

"I slept with Chelsea. I'm the reason they broke up."