trouble ➳ bangtan boys

THIRTY SEVEN

Today marks the year anniversary of my dad's death. I wake up feeling slightly upset but not sad enough to cry about it. Like I told V a few months ago, we weren't that close. 

I find my mum sitting at the dining table downstairs, staring emotionlessly at her coffee. My heart wrenches at the sight of her looking so hurt. 

"Good morning." I interrupt her from her daze.

She looks up and I can instantly see the rims of her eyes are red. She smiles but I can tell it's forced due to the pained look inside her eyes. 

"Morning, Violet." She sounds distant, hurt. 

I don't know whether to mention dad. If I do, she might get more upset. But if I don't, she might think that I've forgotten about him. 

"I'm going to the cemetery today," I tell her cautiously. "Would you like to come?"

My dad was buried here in Seoul because he spent the early years of his childhood in this city. He moved to Yongin when he was young and that's where he met my mum. 

She shakes her head and diverts her gaze to the wall beside me. "No, thanks. I visited his grave last night after work." 

"Okay, no problem," I say quietly. "I'm going to meet Eunki, I'll probably be home late." 

"No problem, sweetheart. Be home by eleven." 

I grab my shoulder bag which I had placed in the cupboard underneath the stairs, collect my purse from the cabinet and leave after hugging my mum briefly. I know I shouldn't be leaving her in such a state on a day like this, but I have something important to do. 

I'm travelling to Yongin today, my old hometown. I somehow managed to convince Eunki to come with me even though she doesn't know fully why we're going. 

I'm going to find out who was responsible for my dad's death.

There's no way he took his own life. Every time I visited him he would be wearing the brightest smile. He had a good job, he'd found a girlfriend who bore him a child, he had everything. He had no reason to take his life.

I was with him just a few days before his death. He was talking to me about proposing to Amelia, his new girlfriend, and was asking me for advice over which ring to buy her. He was excited, happy, eager to live. 

"You ready? The train leaves in twenty minutes so we need to walk quickly." Is the first thing Eunki says to me. 

"Hello to you too," I chuckle sarcastically but follow her nevertheless. "I'll explain on the train why we're going." 

Amelia worked at the library in our town. Maybe she still does, I don't know - I've only seen her once since my dad's death, and that was at the funeral. The library is the building which my dad supposedly jumped off. I don't believe he did that, not willingly, anyway. He was pushed.

"Two tickets to Yongin please." I ask politely and we're given the train tickets. 

It isn't a long journey there, it takes less than two hours. With my overnight bag hanging on my shoulder, I hop off the train with Eunki by my side. 

Everything here seems so familiar, I spent almost my entire life in this town. 

"Okay, so where is the library?" Eunki asks me. I explained everything to her in the train. 

"Not too far from here," I look around, my memories recollecting at the sight of the familiar structures. "It's only a ten minute walk away." 

My heart churns uncomfortably at the sight of the library. I look up at the roof and gulp, a thin layer of tears subconsciously coating my eyes. I look down at the pavement below, imagining where he landed. Before I have the opportunity to dwell any further, Eunki tugs at my arm and pulls me inside the building. 

As we walk through the reception, we hear a small voice call us back. 

"Excuse me, can you please sign in?" 

We turn to see a short girl smiling with a thick book in her hands. I nod and take a pen from the desk and sign my name beside the date. As Eunki writes her name, something clicks inside my mind.

"Can I borrow this book for, like, fifteen minutes?" I ask and both girls stare at me. 

"I don't see why not," the receptionist shrugs. "Just remember to bring it back." 

"Okay, thank you very much." I smile widely and take it from her.

"What the hell are you doing?" Eunki whispers as we walk into the main part of the library. 

"You'll see." I tell her shortly and sit at a table in the back of the room. 

I open the book and stare at the date. I then begin to flick to the earlier pages until I find the date which I'm looking for. August 4th, 2014. 

"This was the day my dad died."

"Oh..." Eunki whispers from beside me. 

There's a long list of names written on the page. I scan the page until I see the familiar name Kim Jisung. I giggle quietly at the sight of his messy handwriting. 

He signed in at 12:43pm. He was pronounced dead at 3pm the same day. 

I continue to scan through the long list of names until my eyes come across something which causes them to widen, my blood to run cold and shock to penetrate my system. 

Written messily at the bottom of the page reads a familiar: Kim Namjoon.

author's note; sorry to start a random storyline but i was running out of ideas and personally i think this is quite exciting haha. but dun dun dunnnnn....namjoon!!

let me know what you think is going on ;) why was namjoon there? did he know her dad? hmmm