Addicted (OITNB)

15- This Cannot Go Unpunished

"EVIE CONNOR, REPORT to the visitation room in the next half-an-hour." A female voice booms over the speakers.

A visit. I completely forgot about visitations and the last one didn't go so well when my mother came to visit me for the first time in years. I really hope it's not her again, because I don't know if I'll be able to control myself if it is. The only other person it could be is either Chelsea or Millie. I haven't talked to Millie in so long since I've just been busy with everything going on around me. It's been now two days since Tricia has died but somehow I'm starting to feel like myself again. I don't know if it's because I'm accepting what happened or because Nicky is keeping me company.

I take a deep breath in, still groggy and half asleep. I open my eyes and the first thing I see is a white singlet underneath my head. I lift my head up and look up at Nicky, who is still fast asleep.

I sit up, peeling myself off her stomach. I feel sorry for Nicky seeing as I'm a messy sleeper and somehow ended up wrapped around her stomach when we went to bed last night spooning for the second time ever.

I carefully try to get out of bed without accidentally kicking or nudging Nicky. I lean down to pick up my light grey hoodie and slip that over my white top. I hear a yawn from behind me and turn around to look at Nicky who has just woken up.

She stretches her arms above her head and stares at me with one eye open.

"Hey, where're you going?" She asks in a morning voice.

I brush out my hair as quickly as I can. "I have a visitor." I reply as I grab my toothbrush for the way.

Nicky sits up. "Your sister?" She asks before reaching down to the floor to put on her heavy black boots. I copy her as I slip mine on as well, and roll up the ends of my trousers like her. I never thought of doing that, and I've been just dealing with stepping on the ends of my pants as they're quiet long.

"I hope so. Better than my mother." I say.

"Yeah, moms can be shit." She mumbles and I wonder what her relationship is with her mom. It doesn't sound great, judging by her comment.

"Okay, I better get going. I still need to go to the bathroom on my way." I say as I walk past the beds.

"Hold up," I stop dead in my tracks and Nicky jumps up from the bed and walks towards me. "are you feeling better?" She asks as she stares right into my eyes, looking genuinely concerned.

I force a smile. "Way better. Thanks." I reply as I turn around and walk towards the exit door. As soon as I'm out of her sight, my smile drops.  In all honesty, I was feeling a bit better now but it has only been two days and every time I see her empty bed I have a moment of remembering. I don't think I will recover fully until someone else has taken that bed.

I stop on my way to the visitation room to brush my teeth. When I finally get to the visitation room, I give my name to the CO and he lets me in.

I scan the crowd like I did last night, praying profusely in my head that it's Millie.

Sure enough, I see the green beanie sticking off the top of a dark head.

When Millie sees me, she immediately stands up and starts squealing. I copy her and we crash into each other, and I squeeze her so tight that she starts laughing.

"How are you?!" I ask as we take a seat, and leaning over the table to look at her closely.

"Well, to be honest, I miss you like crazy and I feel even more guilty everyday. But it has been getting easier, and Allie found me a job to work with her in a kitchen! So far I've just been washing dishes but soon she'll teach me to serve and maybe even cook."