Addicted (OITNB)

63- The Wrong Screw

"I SAW YOU talking to Nicky," Tonia says, "what about?"

I feel my heart palpitate, a common effect of Tonia. "I was just welcoming her back." I reply.

Tonia stares at me without moving a muscle, her eyes gorging into mine. I am the first to look away, preparing myself from any sudden outburst on her part.

"You seem a bit nervous," she creeps closer towards me and I accidentally whimper. Either Tonia ignores it or she doesn't hear it.

My voice sounds sad. "Tonia-"

"Sh," her finger is pressed against my lips and I immediately fall silent, "I know what you need."

I cry out when her fingers wrap around my mouth and she squeezes, forcing it open. I try to struggle out from under her grip but there is no way. She's too strong, despite her tiny figure.

"Shut the fuck up, I swear-"

I immediately fall silent and wince at the pain in my face. Her nails dig into the delicate skin of my cheek to the point where it stings. I can't see anything but the ceiling and Tonia's face, but I hear the sound of a wrapper and then I feel something unfortunately familiar being shoved down my throat.

"Swallow," she almost demands, squeezing my lips shut.

I don't bother fighting back and do so.

She lets go of me and pushes me away while she tucks her stash back into her pillowcase. I can't stop coughing as everything including my throat had felt dry.

"Look, I'm sorry for grabbing you like that." Tonia spat, but she doesn't sound apologetic at all. I knew she was saying it so that I would stop crying.

"What was that?" I ask as I wipe at my eyes.

"Just some antidepressants. Nothing that will hurt you." She brought her knees up under her chin and picked up the same novel she has been reading for the past month.

I poke my head up from behind the half-wall that divides up the areas in the dorm rooms, hoping someone would have seen that. There are only four inmates here all together, and half of them are sleeping. Another one has headphones in and the other one...

I make eye contact with Nicky, who is sat on her bed with her knees drawn up.

I wonder who is going to do something first, and it turns out to Nicky. She shakes her head slowly, her face continuing to show how serious she was. No smile. No frown.

WORK WAS THE only time I had away from Tonia. Nowadays, I couldn't even go to the bathroom alone.

Work felt different today. There wasn't an empty space behind me anymore. Nicky had taken her place.

I kept my mind occupied with the task of sorting the tools into equal toolboxes.

I pray and pray that Nicky won't come over, but just like many of my prayers they don't come true.

"You're using the wrong screw," she reaches over and pulls the small screw I had been trying to put into place for the past ten minutes out of my hand. I get a whiff of her scent - she smells good. Just like I remember.

"Luschek said that's the one..." I mumble.

I can almost see her body tense at Luschek's name. "Well, Luschek's a fucking idiot." She says with a crooked smile.