Addicted (OITNB)

45- Bed Bugs And Beyond

I DON'T KNOW what exactly made me want to read Tricia's diary again. Maybe it was because I was stressed. Stressed about life and what I was going to do after I was released. Stressed about the fact that Millie was going to be in here longer than I was. Stressed about Boo either knowing for sure or just thinking that our engagement is fake. I was also stressed about how far this was going to go. If Millie found out that it was all one giant mess of a plan now then it would absolutely destroy her as a person.

The whole point of this engagement was to get revenge on her, but now she was accepting of it and it did not hurt her anymore. I didn't even want to hurt her. I was starting to love her again. She was really trying, and I appreciated that even though it cost me an arm and a leg to get her to this point.

I push my hand under the mattress to feel for the book. I can't feel it, so I stand up and lift the mattress up completely. When I see that it's not there, everything feels unbalanced.

I slam my fists against the mattress as I stand up. I immediately suspect that Millie took it. She is the only one that has a problem with it. I am so ready to fight her, I don't care if it ruins our relationship again.

I turn around so rapidly that I bump into Nicky, letting out a grunt in pain as I stumble back from the impact.

"Woah," Nicky grabs me by my elbows and pulls me upright.

"No time for you, Nicky. I'm on a mission." I pull out of her grasp and walk to pass her.

"Oh yeah? Need a sidekick?" Nicky asks playfully.

"Have you seen Millie around?" I ask, my eyes scanning the dorms. She is nowhere in sight.

"Uh, Common Room. Why?"

"She took my diary. I mean, Tricia's diary. Actually, it's mine now. My diary. That she ripped up. This is the last straw."

"She didn't take your diary." Nicky says and I raise an eyebrow at her.

"Don't tell me Boo took it-"

"I did."

I frown at her. "Why?"

Nicky grins at me before beginning to walk backwards. I start following her slowly, watching her retreat to her personal cabinet beside the bed. I lean against the half-wall with my hip, feeling slightly relieved that out of all the inmates Nicky had it. However, it still irritated me a little that she took it without telling me.

"Here," she hands me the book and it looks like it is in good conditions. In fact, it looks almost too good. Last time I handled it, it had torn pieces of pages sticking out from the cover.

I eye her while keeping my head down. "What did you do?" I question, opening up to the first page.

"I thought I'd fix it for you. Well, try to fix it at least." My mouth falls open and tears gather in my eyes. There is clear tape to hold together the no-longer-loose pieces. The tape appears glossy when the light hits it, and some of the sentences appear unreadable.

"It's not perfect, and some words you can't exactly read, but at least you don't have to worry about losing any bits."

I'm speechless. Flicking through the rest of the pages, I realize that this would of taken Nicky days, if not weeks to complete, especially with our increased work hours and reduced free time. No one has ever given up so much time and dedicated so much commitment for me.