Addicted (OITNB)

24- Diphenhydramine Is Quick

THE NEXT DAY, I decide to spend my free fixing my problem with Tonia. I'm not a mean person, so my outburst was really out of character for me and I couldn't live with myself knowing that Tonia was upset with me. It wasn't because I want her to like me, but because she scares me. I don't want a friendship with Tonia at all, in fact, it would be perfect if we didn't even speak again. But it's still better to be on her good side.

Nicky's words about Tonia and her past echo through my head but for some reason I don't pay attention to them. I don't think Tonia is a bad person. Not unless I see it for myself. If it is true, it doesn't matter. The past is the past. Everyone makes mistakes. I've made so many mistakes and I've always been forgiven. Millie has made the worst mistakes ever but I managed to forgive her. At least, most of them.

As I remember the way to Tonia's cell, I pass the Common Room. I take a casual glance through the window but come to a quick halt when I see Nicole standing next to Taystee. I sigh in relief, realising she came back and she somehow managed to not get caught. The two don't notice me watching as Taystee pulls out a miniature ziplock bag from her front pocket filled with a mysterious white substance. She casually leans towards Nicky and hands the bag to her. She takes it and slips it into her own pocket.

My jaw locks as I watch the whole thing unfold. For some reason, this pains me to a deep extent seeing as I don't want Nicky to relapse. And the fact that Taystee, the hilarious friend of Poussey who always seems to be friendly, is supplying the drugs hurts me even more.

I start to back away before they notice me and turn around, jogging down the hallway.

"No running!" A CO orders as I pass him. I slow down and watch his back as he walks into the distance before I start running again.

When I reach Tonia's cell, I don't waste a second and shove through the doorway. Tonia sits up from her bed, putting down the book in her hand.

"What are you doing here?" She asks as she peels off her black glasses that resemble Alex's. I must admit, she does look really attractive with them on.

"I-I just wanted to say I'm sorry. You know, for how I treated you the other night." I stammer. I mentally yell at myself for messing up.

Tonia jumps down from her top bunk on the bed and lands on her feet directly in front of me. "You look like shit." She comments and I run my palm across my cheek as if wiping away my awful appearance.

"I know. I haven't been sleeping a lot and I've been-" I stop, unsure if I should mention my hallucinations. Then again, she did already witness it.

"I think I know what you need." Tonia says. I curiously watch her dig under her mattress and pull out a small plastic bag.

"What's that?" I ask cautiously as she nudges the bag towards me. I don't want to touch it if it's what I think it is.

"Just some Benadryl." She says and I shake my head.

"No. I don't need medicine." I say a little to frantically. Tonia raises a perfectly shaped eyebrow at me.

"Really? You really don't need some sleep medication?" She sarcastically says.

I chew my bottom lip as I stare at the pills. What if this takes me down the wrong road?

"Evie, listen. You have problems. And those problems aren't gonna go away on their own. I take these all the time and I sleep like a baby. The reason you feel like you're losing your mind is because you're not getting enough z's. Trust me, you'll thank me later." She forcefully shoves the bag into my grasp and I stare at them, still unsure.