Addicted (OITNB)

16- American Horror Story

I QUIETLY HUM to myself as I lay on the cruelly hard mattress in the corner of my tiny cell. I stare at the wall and run my finger down the grey chipped paint, revealing the light blue colour underneath. I use my fingernail to peel off more of the paint, seeing as that's my only source of entertainment.

The lights in the SHU are always on, so it's hard to sleep due to the brightness and also hard to keep track of time. I have absolutely no idea how long I've been in here but it feels like months although in reality I doubt it's been more than a week. Possible two days or so.

I don't know how people can stay here for weeks. I miss Red's food already. The food they serve here is revolting and unsanitary.

I hear a shrill and immediately sit up. I listen closely again, but it's dead silent. I sigh and lay back down. Maybe I'm hallucinating from lack of sleep. Maybe someone's being tortured or experimented on next door. I feel a sense of fear, imagining that they tested on us. I doubt they do, though. This isn't American Horror Story.

For the unknown amount of days I've been in here, the only company I have is my own thoughts. They remind me of all my troubles in life, and how I've ruined my future and all my hard work. They remind me that I'm the only one who knows the truth about Tricia's death, yet they blame me for not doing anything about it. Although it's not like I can. I'm an inmate. He's a CO. Who are they going to believe? The criminal?

Was it worth it, being in here? I mean, it doesn't necessarily bother me in terms of possibly having to extend my sentence for a few more months- I'm already stuck here for more than six years. But what does bother me is the fact that I'm in here because of "lesbian activity". Mr Healy is a male version of Millie. Piper had told me about him, saying how he had some sort of crush on her.

I miss Nicky. I can't get over the strange new feeling she made me feel when she touched me. It was alien to me. Even though I know she has done that to a lot of girls, for some reason I still feel excited about it.

My mind wanders back to when she confessed she liked me. Was that kiss an act upon that? Or was it just for fun?

Another scream echoes through the air and I bolt up and run to the heavy red cell door. I try to look through the little square window in the middle of the door, but it's been closed off. I bend down and try look through the slot at the bottom where the guards shove the tray of food through. I push it open with my fingers and peer through the tiny hole. I can't see much due to the size.

A pair of legs dressed in dark navy trousers step into my view and I fall back on my butt in shock. I hear the sound of my door being unlocked and panic overcomes me. This is it. They're going to test makeup products on me.

The door swings open and it takes the guard a few seconds to realise I'm on the ground right in front of him.

"Inmate, get up." He orders and I scurry to my feet.

"How long have I been in here?" I ask yet I'm completely ignored I stand still while he handcuffs my wrists behind my back. "Where am I going? What are you doing?"

"Miss Connor." I look up to see Mr Caputo standing in my view. I feel myself relax a little. He won't let them do anything dangerous to me, I hope. "Sorry you're in this situation right now. It was a mistake and you were supposed to be given a warning." Caputo pauses and rubs his moustache.

"Mr Healy has some...personal problems he needs to deal with. Again, sorry about this." He says and I sigh in relief.

"It's okay. Can I go back now?"