Addicted (OITNB)

21- Heart Of Gold

I SMILE TO myself as I sit in the visitation room, but not because I'm about to see Millie. I'm thinking about this afternoon. I lost my virginity. To Nicky. To an inmate. To a girl. I never expected this in my life.

I sit up straighter and clear my throat when I see my little sister walking towards me. She pulls out a seat across from me and leans on her elbows.

"Someone's happy to see me." Millie days when she notices my grin. If only she knew.

"Yeah. Merry Christmas, little one!" I reach over the table and grab her face, planting a sloppy kiss on her cheek. Millie sits back again, cringing and wiping her face with the sleeve of her dark green sweater.

My body can still feel the aftermath of my orgasm, even two hours later. It was such an alien experience. I didn't know our bodies could make you feel such a thing.

"I wish I could get you a present or something." Millie sighs and I wave her off.

"Trust me, presents aren't that exciting anymore as you get older." I say.

"Really? I will always love presents." Millie replies.

"Speaking of presents, I did get one. From an inmate." I feel butterflies in my stomach as I remember Nicky again.

"Really? They do that here?" She asks with wide eyes and I nod. "What'd she get you?"

"A radio." I say proudly.

Millie purses her lips, as if she's trying not to laugh. "What?" I ask teasingly and Millie finally cracks.

"I never thought you'd be so excited about a radio." Millie snorts.

"Well, duh! Radios are a luxury item here considering we get paid less than twenty cents an hour. The radio cost forty bucks." I say.

"Holy Shit. That's a lot of money for the amount you make." Millie says and I agree. "I guess I can never get you a present that would beat that."

I roll my eyes and kick Millie under the table.

"Hey!" She exclaims, everyone's attention turning to us.

"I barely touched you." I defend.

"Yes you did, you could've broke my leg." Millie whispers when she realises that everyone heard her outburst.

I bring my elbows up and rest them on the table. "Okay, let's talk serious now." I say sternly and Millie sighs heavily, knowing what's coming.

"Did you tell Allie about Tricia?"

"About that..." Millie begins and my eyes widen.

"Millie-"

"Look, I can't tell her, okay!"

"Millie!" I screech, not caring how loud I am. Allie still thinks her friend is alive, and if she finds out the truth, Millie will be in huge trouble.

"I was going to, I promise! But then she started talking about how much she missed Tricia, and then I realised that I could be kicked out if she finds out!"

"Stop being so selfish!" I yell.

"Inmate! Quiet down!" A CO demands. I slowly sink in my seat like I've been told off by a teacher.

"I'm sorry that I care about Allie's feelings and would rather not ruin what she has going on in her life!"

I notice that the CO isn't telling Millie off, who is much louder than me.