Can you Feel my heart?

The comedown {Oliver}

"Oliver can you open your eyes for me?" 

My eyes struggled to open. I was laying down, people looming over me. Some one was holding my hand, stroking my thumb. Every thing was a blur. my face hurt, and my neck was tender. There was a smiling woman standing over me. 

"Hi Oliver. My name is Jacelynn." 

She wore dark blue scrubs. 

"Where am I?" 

My voice was harsh and scratchy. 

"You're in the emergency room." 

My mums voice. I looked in the direction that the voice had come from. She was sitting at my side. My father stood behind her, worry written in his face. Jacelynn commanded my attention back to her. 

"I'm going to check some things, just lay still." 

She clicked on a pen light. She moved it across my eyes. I wanted to flinch away. It was to bright, blinding. She gently lifted my eye lid, bringing the light in closer. 

"Your pupils aren't dilating the way they should in light."

She clicked off the light.

"He may be concussed. I advise you keep him under close watch. Rest is his best option for now." 

She gave me a soft smile. 

"You're going to be fine." 

She stood, grabbing a folder from the desk behind her. She said something to my parents. My mum gave her a fleeting smile. She walked out, gently shutting the door behind her. My father sighed. 

"I'm glad you're ok son." 

He touched my arm.

"What happened?" 

My head was pounding, spinning dizzy on its axis. 

"You were attacked." 

I wasn't spinning any longer. 

"Matty. Where is he?" 

My parents looked at each other. 

"Oli." 

My mum sighed. Before she could continue, there were two sharp knocks on the door. A moment later an officer filed in a woman. She held out her hand to my mum. 

"I'm Officer Bennett, and this is my partner Officer Casey." 

They shook hands. 

"If you don't mind us, we would like to ask your son a few questions about what happened?" 

My parents looked at each other. 

"That's fine." 

Officer Casey cleared his throat. 

"We usually ask the questions in private. It usually helps the victim open up more when they feel like they wont be under an influence about what they say." 

I squeezed my her hand. 

"I'll be ok." 

They gave me a worried glance. She dropped my hand and they both shuffled out. There was another officer outside of the door, escorting them back to the waiting room. I let out a breath of relief. Officer Bennett helped me sit up. She pulled up the stool and sat close to me, Officer Casey leaned agianst the counter. 

"How are you feeling?" 

I tried to crack a smile, but my face pulled in pain. 

"Oh, I've been better." 

She gave me a tight smile. 

"Tell us hat happened." 

I sighed. 

"We were in Art, and our principal came in with these officers. Matty came at me and I hit my head. I don't remember much else." 

They looked at each other. 

"Do you know why he came after you like that? What provoked him?" 

"He was going to be arrested." 

A ball of fear was rising in me. 

"Do you know why?" 

"No." 

I said quietly. Officer Bennett leaned forward. 

"Oliver, you can tell us. Don't lie." 

"I don't know." 

Officer Casey cleared his throat. 

"Do you know what happened about a month ago?" 

My skin pricked with terror. 

"No." 

Bennett put her hand on mine. 

"Oliver we know you were sexually assaulted." 

I looked down. 

"How?" 

"Your friend, Kellin. He admitted it to us. Can you try to remember what happened?" 

Panic was flooding over me. 

"We went to a party. I got drunk and the assaulted me." 

"Anything else? Did someone stop them?" 

Yes. 

"No. I was alone." 

She looked at me. 

"They can't hurt you anymore. They are going away for a long time." 

"I don't want to press charges." 

I was quiet. Bennett looked at me. 

"Oliver we have a confession from all of them. They can't get away with it." 

"I said I don't want charges." 

I was becoming angry. Casey crossed his arms. 

"Maybe you should take sometime to think about it?" 

I turned to him. 

"I am 18. I said I don't want charges." 

They looked at  each other. With a sigh Bennett turned back to me. 

"Ok. We can drop the Sex Crime charges, and the criminal conspiracy, but I'm afraid Matty will have to be charged with assault. There's no way around that." 

I felt my insides drop, like the floor was falling out from under me. 

"Oh." 

Bennett stood. 

"Well, I'll get the report ran down at the precinct. Oliver if there's anything you ever need call me." 

She handed me her card. She walked from the room, her face pinched with annoyance. Casey came and put his hand on my shoulder. 

"I know what you're doing. And if you're afraid that someone will think that you're a snitch they're wrong." 

I looked at him. 

"I'm not about to ruin their lives like they ruined mine." 

He smiled at me. 

"I think that over time, guilt will bury them." 

I whispered. He squeezed my shoulder.  I dropped my eyes. 

"You're going to be ok." 

I lifted my gaze, my eyes draw to the flash off of his badge. Above was his name tag. My heart twisted. He gave me a wicked grin. He gave my shoulder a squeeze again, then turned away from me. My body felt like lead. I was woozy and I felt like I was about to throw up. That smile was so familiar. It was something that had been learned by someone else. I leaned back, my head swimming. Realization blanketed me. The image of his name tag was burned into my brain. 

C. Quinn