Can you Feel my heart?

Back to me {Austin}

I had hesitance. Here I am, standing in front of a plain, dented door. Shrewdly lit and contrite. My hands felt like lead, hanging down so substantially. Anchorous fingers weighing me down, solidifying me to the floor. Despite my leaden posture, my chest felt as if it were filled with helium. Supposedly that's what nervousness feels like. So much dread being carried by even more hope. I reached out, and rapped on the door. Carefully. I consider running away, a twisted sorts of dingdong ditch. I did not know if he would even be the one to answer the door. For all I know I could stare down a total stranger, perhaps even a fan. At worst his new lover. I shivered at the thought. I don't know why the chills overcame my body because I shouldn't care. But I did, so deep down, pass the locked and guarded walls of my very frail and pallid ego. I didn't hear the door creak open in my absent minded thoughts, nor did i sense the beefed up security clothed in all black fill up the doorway, arms crossed.

"You're not supposed to be back here."

He said, voice monotone.

"I was hoping I could talk to Oliver."

He held out a hand.

"You're not supposed to be back here. No access to fans. Or reporters."

"Im not a fan"

I said in retort. He cocked a brow.

"Then you'll have no problem going back up to the arena, with everyone else."

I clenched my hands. I considered withdrawing my wallet in attempts to bribe him away. I also considered decking him. He cleared his throat.

"look, if you're not going to go back by yourself I would be happy to escort you."

He was testing me, a sly smile on his ugly lips. Now I really wanted to deck him. I curled my hands tighter now.

"Jameson, close the fucking door if you're not going out. It was a long show I just want peace."

"I'm sorry Mr. Sykes I'm just trying to get rid of this fanny before he starts any trouble."

There was a groan and I heard him approach us.

"you're really keeping me because of a fan. Remind me again why I'm paying you blokes some much god damned mone-"

He stopped. Peering over his shoulder he locked eyes with me. Those sensual eyes that I fell so deeply in love with and that I'm still so enthralled in. The bouncer grabbed my arm, a tightening grip.

"I'll get him out of here I knew he was a bother the moment I opened the door."

"Don't."

Oliver said, breathlessly.

"Let him in."

Jameson looked at him puzzlingly. Oliver narrowed his blazing eyes at him, poison in his look.

"And leave us be."

He opened his mouth in protest, but quickly clamped it shut. He gave Oliver a stiff nod and turned to let me in. The door closed with a soft click behind me. And now I was left face to face with him. In the silence. I felt that I couldn't breath now, a long time coming. And it came, not stopping. Ramming me into the grainy carpet if this green room. My eyes followed him as he hugged the corners of the room, keeping a wide berth between us. He trained his eyes on me, never leaving me as he bent to the mini fridge and retrieved two beers. He held one out to me.

"Thanks."

I said, clipped. He nodded. He retreated to a love seat, never breaking eye contact.