Can you Feel my heart?

Defy {Austin}

Lynn was pulling me away. I tried to press my heels into the ground, but she was astutely stronger than me in this instance. She shoved, elbowed our way out. She was more desperate to depart me than I was to find my headspace again. As soon as we broke through the doors, I felt a slamming wave of desperation. I sank against the brick wall, my body feeling pallid. She had panic in her eyes, something so carnal and scared.

"I didn't know. I swear I didn't."

She pleaded, eyes beading with regret. Her hand closed around my wrist, shielding me.

"I'm sorry."

I looked down at her. Words escaping me. I found that funny. I always had something to say when the circumstances were more distorted, terse. But when it needed to be said I found my eloquism to be profoundly mute.

"I'm not mad."

I managed. And I wasn't. I was relieved. Avoiding him was so tiring. The fact that I hadn't found him in his found stardom was nothing but sheer luck. A stacked hand dealt in my favor. But had he seen me was the question? Had he wanted to see me? Lynn was flagging down the valet and I reached out, pulling her hand down. She looked at me, surprised.

"Don't you want to get out of here?"

"No. I don't."

I stunned us both.

"Lynn all I ever did was run away."

She pursed her lips. With a sigh she agreed. When we reentered the noise wasn't as deafening. I hovered in the dregs of the crowds, Oliver illuminated, a bright burning star. I saw him with clarity, knowing that i was protected by the shadows of the eves. He could not see me, burning just as bright. I noticed, just in that instance, that the crowd was just as profoundly as moved by him as I first was. Upon first glance, you were captivated by his beauty and entranced by the words that fell from lips. Molten gold. He had the power to move this crowd, these thousands of strangers, in perfect poetic harmony. It was spectacular. It was spectacular because he did it with such ease. But if this crowd fell apart, and I was the only one left standing before him, I would be just as caught in him as they all had been. Because that's what I was. I was still caught up in him. There was a spark, a reignition. Love. I shoved back through the crowd, displacing many of them, getting rancid looks and curses thrown at my face. I knew Lynn would be scurrying behind me, frantically trying to grab my coat tails. I broke through the front, met by the boundary of the stage. He was standing there, glowing under a spot light. The crowd had fallen so quiet now, a homage to a ballad. Something so emotionally raw.

'Cause I'm telling you you're all I need
I promise you you're all I see
'Cause I'm telling you you're all I need
I'll never leave

I locked in his gaze, the world going dark around us. It was him and I.

So you can drag me though Hell
If it meant I could hold your hand
I will follow you.
Cause I'm under your spell
And you can't throw me to the flames
I will follow you.
I will follow you.

I found myself reaching out, just one hand amongst 20 others shrouding me. But I felt it, that electric, hot graze of his skin on mine.

I felt him.