Ride Or Die

Better Than I Love You

❀Better than I love you


"Jason," I breathed out heavily as he held me against the wall with my legs around his torso and arms around his neck. He chuckled and leaned his forehead to mine before looking me in the eyes. I saw so many emotions dance in them: lust, admiration, compassion, but mostly the need to be loved. My fingers tangled themselves within his hair, massaged his head lightly. "Ya baby?" He said back before kissing me once more. "I love you," I mumbled three words that meant the world as my lips hovered over his and I took in every minty breath he let out.

'I love you', it's so used. So many people say it when they don't mean it that it's almost lost it's meaning completely. How can 'Hate' be used as such a strong word when the total opposite, love, can't even be said without a second thought. It's been so abused that no one takes it seriously. So when we really love someone, and I mean love them for real, how do we say it? How do we let the other person know that it's not just said to make conversation or to make them feel good in the moment. But instead to let them really know there is someone out there who adores and cares for you more than they even do for themselves. Love is a joke because that is what people have built it up to be in so many years. I didn't believe in love, not until now.

There was a long moment of silence that crept upon us. We both stared into each other's eyes. "Pais," He began but I quickly cut him off by pressuring my lips back to his. If he didn't say it back I knew I would immediately regret using the washed up expression. I almost didn't want to hear his response because in all honesty I was afraid, afraid to love someone who didn't love me.

Before I could react any further, the kiss was broken and I was placed back to my feet. I shot Jason a confused expression as he looked down and then back up to me, "Paisley," I shook my head back trying to make him feel better but even more I think I tried to comfort myself as well, "You don't have to say it. I would rather you be honest than say something you don't mean." I guess my words were the truth. "It's not that--" He began but I soon cut him off, "No Jason, it's okay. I understand. I can't make you feel the same way."

Jason rolled his eyes before grabbing for my hands and holding them between our already close bodies, "Would you shut up for five seconds?" He started, immediately I closed my lips to let him continue. I felt my cheeks become warm with every word he spoke, "Paisley, just because I can't say 'I love you' doesn't mean I don't really like you. I do. I like you more than anyone or anything. You're the most amazing person I have ever met. You're beautiful and heart aching, all in the same I can never get you out of my head. I would do anything for you. But with my past, I can't throw around that phrase. I can't afford to get hurt again."

I nodded understandingly, tears brimming in my eyes as I admired his, "You saying that means more than saying 'I love you' cause at least now when you say it, I'll know you mean it." He just smiled before pulling me by our already connected hands, I fell hard into his chest and linked my arms around his waist, hiding my face into his chest and letting his breath taking scent fill my nostrils. The warm pressure I felt to the top of my head as he pressed his luscious lips to my skin just added to the already perfect moment.