Ride Or Die

Sequel~ I Had To Choose

I Had To Choose

"Jason, what are you doing here?" I questioned with as little emotion as possible; however, it was difficult considering everything I had ever once wanted was standing a foot in front of me. I refused to let myself cry, not even a single tear. Not here. Not now. Not ever. Jason's smirk faded just as quickly as it had come when his hands dropped to his sides in defeat and he bowed his head to get a better look at my expression. "I-I couldn't let you leave, Paisley," he stammered. He almost appeared choked up, but I knew Jason better than that. No way in hell was he gonna let his emotions get the best of him. Nonetheless, his words baffled me. Before I could control it, anger flooded my veins and my level of frustration and anxiety grew, "You couldn't let me leave? After what you said last night? After you looked me dead in the eyes and told me point blank you could never love me?" I could have continued to rage on, but instead I was cut off by his husky voice, "Please hear me out."

"Why should I? You've been a complete asshole for awhile now. Ever since fucking Micah left," I began to trail off because I knew we weren't supposed to talk about the gang or gang activities outside the warehouse or in ear shot of the public. Jason's head gazed around as if to check that no one else was eavesdropping, "Paisley, get in the car and we will talk about it on the way home." His voice was commanding and stern, a voice everyone else had known to fear except me of course. I stood my ground, "Home?!" Without realization I had let out a deathly snicker, "That might be your home Jason McCann, but it sure as hell isn't mine."

It took all this time to notice Serena was standing there awkwardly watching the quarrel take place right in front of her. I felt kind of bad honestly that she had to see this. Jason had obviously noticed as well because he shot her a sympathetic frown before turning back to me. He grabbed my hands in both of his and stared into my eyes. Right then all the confidence I had built up was shredded into tiny pieces of insecurity. This was one of the many effects Jason McCann had on me. The more I searched his eyes over, the more I noticed the glossy glazed tint settled against the usual harsh carmel. "I love you, with all my heart. Anything I said last night was out of my drunken stupor." He tried so hard to defend his actions, but I wasn't having it. "Drunk words are sober thoughts," I spat right back to him. His instant expression was pained as he chose his words carefully, "Let me finish god dammit, you stubborn girl." A lump in my throat was swallowed and my ears perked unwillingly ready to listen to whatever bullshit he has to say. Whatever magic words he thinks will fix us.

"I love you, I love you more than I ever thought I could love. If you think that's not the truth then your blind because everyone else sees it too. I would not chase just any girl two hours to stop her from leaving. Ask Serena, even she knows we're meant to be together," He motioned to my best friend who nodded with a shy smile, and then he continued, "I'm sorry I haven't been there lately, but it will change. I got caught up, and thought I had to be there for a lot of people but that only made me realize I need to be there for you first most. I made a mistake. If you come back I can't promise things will be perfect, but I can promise that'll I'll try everything I can to make you happy. You deserve it. And if you choose to walk away now, and if that's really what you want, I'll let you go."

I couldn't digest his words. The intense eye contact told me he was telling nothing but the truth. On the other hand, I might never get another chance to go back to living a normal life. If I go back with Jason then this is my life. If I go back it is going to be constant war, fighting, weed, guns, missions, and always on the run. If I go back, I go back to the life I dreaded living for so long. Now was my only chance. I had to choose in that split second to go with the man I loved or the life I've always wanted.

"Jason, I...."