Class 19864

Chapter 37: Brook

Song: In Case by Demi Lovato

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Chapter 37- Brook

It’s been a long week. My conversation with Austin left me hurt and confused. How was I supposed to go through with this? How could I make that decision? The choice between my whole family and possibly the whole of mankind or the person I think I love, who I may not be able to live without. I have to be the one to kill the demon. I know that. But there’s no way of knowing if killing the demon will kill Austin too. I’m too wrapped up in my grief to notice the knock at the door. I only realise someone has knocked when the door flies open and Ada marches in.

“Brook I have a problem!” She says, flopping onto my bed.

“What is it?” I ask.

“I don’t know what to do. About Damien and Toby. Toby and me were always only supposed to be friends. But I know he means so much to me. I don’t want to hurt either of them. Brook please help me. What should I do?”

I smile. “Ada calm down. They will both understand. I’m sure of it. You need to think about which you like more. Which you feel safest with and which you will hurt more.”

“Oh Toby. He’s so sweet. He’s so sensitive. I feel like a monster. I’d feel even worse if I hurt him.”

“You make him happy. You make him happy simply by existing. You can’t upset him even if you try. He won’t care who you choose because he’ll always love you. It doesn’t matter to him. He just wants you to be happy. Loyalty like that is irreplaceable.”

“Who do I choose? Please. I’m asking you because you’re the only person I completely trust to be honest with me.”

“I am going to be honest with you. I think Toby is what’s best for you. He wants what’s best for you, he’s sweet and generous and he’ll never hurt you. But he’ll also understand. I’m not sure I can say the same for Damien.”

“Brook this is awful. I can’t believe I’ve done this.” Ada says, tears welling in her eyes.

“You haven’t done anything wrong.” I assure her, giving her a hug. “We never know what’s going to happen when we meet someone. We make conscious decision to pursue any kind of human friendship with a person without knowing the outcome. Without knowing if there’s be companionship, romance, friendship, brotherhood. We do it because at the time we think it will be a good idea. “

“But how do I stop myself from hurting them? How can I say I love either? What is love? A whole load of pain.”

“Love is giving someone the power to hurt you and trusting them not to. You haven’t hurt either of them and I promise as long as you’re honest they won’t hurt you.”

“Love sucks. It’s so completely pointless.” Ada says with disgust.

“I agree. Of course I agree. But being with Austin has showed me something. You don’t get to pick who you love and don’t love. Sometimes I think it’s predetermined. We have no control over it at all. And other times I think we’re just drawn to someone we meet when we’re in the middle of imagining a fantasy.”

“Is that all it is with Austin? A fantasy?”

I shake my head. “No I don’t think it is. Maybe that’s how it started out. But it isn’t anymore.”

“Why not?” Ada asks, rubbing her eyes impatiently.

“I guess before it made sense that it was all a fantasy. I mean what did I know? He was just some guy that I thought was attractive. But now I’ve gotten to know him. Now I know who he really is. And maybe the thought that I could lose him scares me because I care about him so much. I feel like if he’s gone I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

“I feel like that about both of them.” Ada says. “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost one of them.”

“I know what we’d do if we lost anyone. Get through it the way we get through everything. As a family. Which is what we are. We all have that in common. We’re all gifted which means to the rest of the world we’re different and weird. But to each other we’re family. The majority of us don’t have real families. They left us. So we have to get along as best as we can like this. And we’re doing okay. And I know if we keep going like this, there’s nothing we can’t do.”

Ada gives me a hug. “I’m lucky I have you and Luc. You’re the best sisters ever.”