Shawn Mendes Imagines

Honest

(Based on Shawn's song "Honest," enjoy!)

(Shawn's Point of View)

While I stood waiting for Y/N on Adelaide Street, a million different thoughts were racing through my mind. One of those thoughts being: Am I going to regret this? I sighed in frustration, as my conscience thought one thing and my heart felt another. I shook my head, just before looking up towards the cloudy sky above me. I shivered from the cold evening breeze, before tucking my hands in the front pockets of my jeans, and realized that the gray sky looked just as gloomy as I felt. I needed to think logically, but my emotions wanted otherwise. An aching in my chest willed myself to hold on to her as I had never truly loved anyone as much as I loved her, but the pounding in my head convinced me to let her go as she deserved more than I could give her. If I hadn't willed myself to end the battle between my mind and my heart, I would have continued debating over the same thoughts and feelings until I drove myself insane. Instead, I came to a practical resolution. It was because I loved her, that I was letting her go to find better.

"Shawn!" I heard a familiar voice call out to me, causing me to turn my head away from the sky and towards the end of the street. I met Y/N's gaze from afar, and an uncontrollable smile began to pull at the corners of my lips. Though, the rising smile soon faltered as I recalled why I had asked her to meet me. Despite my faltering smile, the beating in my chest still raced, as there was nothing that could slow it down upon seeing her. I noticed Y/N's pace quicken, and I assumed it was because she was eager to reach me. With the daunting thought at the back of my mind of why I had asked her here, I willed myself to turn towards her and make every step forward. As the distance between us grew smaller and smaller with every step we made, my heart was breaking over and over. And, the closer Y/N approached me, the more beautiful she became. Gosh, was she stunning. This was just another reason why I was going to regret this.

"You're back!" She exclaimed in excitement, practically jumping into my arms upon reaching me.
"I know, finally." I replied, trying my best to keep a smile on my face, as I recalled the past two months I had been on tour and hadn't seen her once during those sixty one days. She had her arms wrapped tightly around my body, holding me in a secure embrace as though she was afraid that if she didn't I would leave her again. I too held her tightly, knowing that this was likely the last time I would ever be able to hold her like this again.
"I missed you, so much." Y/N said, slightly loosening her grip around me to look up into my eyes.
"I missed you too." I replied, looking her directly in the eyes, truly meaning that I had missed her while I was away. My words brought a large smile to her lips. She then stood on her toes, leaning her face closer towards mine to place a kiss on my lips. The right thing to do would have been to stop her there, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I wanted, needed, to feel her lips against mine one last time. I knew that it was selfish of me, but I would allow myself to be selfish only this once.

I felt the warmth of her breath against my lips, before I felt her lips brush lightly against my own. When she was through with teasing, Y/N's lips touched mine, deepening the kiss before it even really begun. I enjoyed the feeling of her lips against mine, yet another reason why I was going to regret this. Suddenly, something urged me to pull away from her kiss. In that moment, I decided that I couldn't do this to her any longer. I pulled my lips away from Y/N's, likely catching her off guard. I kept my eyes closed, not wanting to witness the saddened expression on her face as I spoke my next four words.
"We need to talk." I whispered, less than an inch away from her lips. I brought myself to open my eyes, knowing that I couldn't get through this with closed eyes or without her having a saddened reaction. Y/N's eyes searched back and forth between mine, confusion written across her facial expression.
"What do you mean?" She asked just above a whisper, stepping back as though she was afraid of me, or rather afraid of what I was going to say. A worried expression replaced the confusion that had been obvious across her face.