Steven Universe Oneshots

L A P I D O T

Lapis didn't sleep often.

And when she did, it was often fitfully, and she woke up too early, claiming that she was too awake to sleep, but in reality, Peridot and Lapis both knew why she couldn't get any sleep. It was often nightmares, or just the fear of having those nightmares that kept Lapis up for far longer than she was comfortable with. But Peridot couldn't blame her. She stood up just as long, making sure that Lapis wasn't lonely on the nights where nothing seemed alive. She knew that Lapis hated feeling alone, because it reminded her of being with Jasper. It confused Peridot, sometimes, since she was with Jasper when they were fused, but she didn't ask questions.

Today, for some reason or another, Lapis was exhausted. There were dark circles under her eyes, and she kept swaying, whether she was sitting or not, and she blinked too often. Peridot kept note of these things, how often Lapis blinked, and her posture, the way that she spoke, because it was key that Peridot made sure that Lapis got sleep when she needed it. Even gems need to rest.

"Lapis? Are you tired?" Peridot sipped at the half empty can of Monster Energy. She had built up some type of immunity to the energy drink, but it was such a habit that she just drank it for the sake of drinking it. Lapis nodded, her head still on Peridot's lap, although her head was turned to look at the TV, where Season 12 of Camp Pining Hearts was playing.

Peridot knew the human law that was embodied into every man, woman, and child. It didn't matter what the age was, but they all knew. When someone uses you as a pillow, you cannot move. Lapis stirred for a moment, still trying to stay awake, but the nighttime sounds, and the weight of exhaustion over the last few weeks was too much, and she fell asleep.

Peridot liked the way that Lapis fell asleep, and she had been used as a pillow enough times that she knew how it went. First, her eyes would flutter close, because she would still be trying to stay awake, but slowly, her eyes wouldn't open as much when she blinked, and her eyes would stay closed. And her breathing would even out, in deep, long breaths. And Peridot remained still, turning down the volume of the TV, then turning it off altogether.

Lapis talked in her sleep often, mostly just snippets of ordinary conversations, about Earth, Peridot herself (she was very proud of the moments that she was involved), Camp Pining Hearts, and Steven. But it usually didn't stay so peaceful. She would start to fidget in her sleep, turning over and over, muttering about Jasper, Homeworld, and whatever else. It didn't always make sense.

Sometimes, it didn't have to.

At least today, the moon was out, and Peridot could see through the giant holes that were in the barn roof, made there on purpose, because sometimes Lapis wanted to fly and didn't want to go all the way downstairs.

The moon's light had a very different color compared to the sun. It was much softer and it was the color of ivory. Peridot liked that.

It made it hard to make out color, and everything was in black and white, but it didn't matter. Lapis's hair was messed up into points, and flattened down in some other places. She used her arm as a pillow, and her face was cradled in her arms, and in Peridot's lap. Her gem shined in the soft light, and Peridot wondered for how long that gem had been broken.

Lapis was a very broken gem. She had been pushed past her physical and mental boundaries long ago, and she was still trying to fix herself, and the broken shards of her life. It wasn't easy, there were still flashbacks, nightmares, and crying, but a lot of the time, Peridot found something to do, and Lapis would turn her complete focus to that one thing.

Peridot sighed, and leaned against the couch.

Broken gems were hard to fix. And Lapis had spent the majority of her life cracked, trapped, and screaming for help. It didn't help that she refused to talk about it.

But Peridot tried her best. Maybe not what was best for Lapis sometimes, but her best nonetheless. She tried to help, even when Lapis didn't think she needed help. They supported each other, and each other's dreams, whatever they were. Peridot didn't know what Lapis wanted out of her existence.

Was it freedom? For Homeworld to be destroyed? For happiness? For love?

Mostly, it just felt like Lapis just wanted to forget, start a new life, one where she could feel safe. One where she could be secure, and not have to worry about Homeworld, or her past, or Jasper, or anything else. All that Lapis wanted to do sometimes was make drawings, or to plant.

That was okay to Peridot. 

Because sometimes it felt like they were fused. Like their mental healths effected each other, and their physical sates effected each other.

And that was okay to Peridot.