Savor The Moonlight - Book 1 | ✔

disturbance

 *Please read the Author's Note at the end of the chapter, thank you!~

PART ONE:

I think I can avoid Orsai,

[her unexpected words,
the sudden change in her demeanor,
scares me senseless.]

[But I can't get away.]

just like Miria avoided me,
but she has Aoi make all 
the sleeping arrangements

and I'm terrified of speaking out
under the same roof as Father.

So I clamp my mouth shut,
pull on a pair of Orsai's old pajamas

and let her guide me to the futons on
the floor of her bedroom.

Just looking at the wallpaper
makes me feel a strange mix of
nostalgia and discomfort all at the same time.

Then she  s n a p s   off the light

And I'm engulfed in darkness.
My heart squeezes but I don't know
if it's in excitement or fright because I

still love Orsai.

No matter what.

"You didn't text me."

She lies down next to me
and pulls all the duvets to herself,
leaving me shivering and cold.

I ignore the chill
and say,

"I'm sorry."

PART TWO:

Orsai ignores me for the rest of the night.

She rolls over,
taking the warmth of
the duvets with her,
and I fall asleep to an icy
pin-drop silence.

In the morning,
I wake up shivering
with a running nose
and a sore throat.

In the morning,
no more words are
exchanged, as we make
the beds.

In the morning,
after a breakfast of
oats and fruit and nuts,
Aoi lets us play with the sledges
out in the front driveway.

The driveway's slope is steeper
than the back gardens
and there are no cars on the road
so we take it in turns to ride
down

down

d
o
w
n.

Then just as quickly

as it had turned playful and happy,

the atmosphere of

the early morning is broken

when I hear Orsai shout

"Get out of my way, brat!"

at Zeira,
as she tries to pull her sledge
back up the slope.

"Hey, that's not nice."

I blink in surprise
as I watch Suki jump to her rescue.

Orsai looks just
as surprised.

IMPORTANT A.N.

If you find yourselves in a manipulative relationship, be it with your family or friends, please don't ever hesitate to speak out to people who can help you.

It took years of talking with people, having it pointed out and so much help from those that I trusted before I could realize how badly screwed up my situation was. After my initial realization, it wasn't a magical, clear journey of finding my inner-strength and fighting evil. I'm aware that everything won't mend itself overnight + how complicated things like this can get.

Even if you forget everything else, remember this: Your well-being is your number one priority. If anyone threatens your physical / mental / emotional health, you have the right to fight for your own peace of mind.

I still slip up sometimes and relapse back into the way I used to be (mindless, loving unconditionally, naive) but it's better now + I believe that you can also find your way out.

In my case, being outspoken and cutting the toxic person out of my life completely wasn't an option. But that didn't mean I couldn't deal with it! It just meant I had to get a little smart and think a bit more about how I could keep my distance without looking rude. 

It's hard writing about the relationship between Harmony and Orsai. The one aspect of StM that is closest to my real life is their interactions (the rest is me letting my imagination go wild, pfft!) and my gut always sort of twists whenever I write scenes with them together. 

On a lighter note, I can't wait to start SaM and show you how Harmony grows more + the million other cool things I have planned! 

Please take care of yourselves ~

- Maoiel