Goodnight, love

I'm Always Fine

Promised you that we'd soar the skies together,
Promised you that I'll be the sun to your cloudiest days,
The brightest star to your darkest nights,
Promised that I'll be yours.

I'm sorry that I broke you instead,
For turning you into me,
For turning you into a lone soldier,
Maybe you shouldn't have cared at all...

I miss you, ya know?
Said that I'd hike up a mountain to find you,
Said that we'd be together,
But its my fault that we're not.

I was foolish enough to think that someone would actually care for me,
Foolish enough to think that we'll run through the night together,
To think that I was good enough,
To think that there'd be a "forever" with you.

Numbers of sad songs playing through my head,
Tears and tears streaming down my cheeks,
But I'm fine,
I'm always fine, right?

I'll always smile, right?
You know that..... right?
That I'd always smile for you,
Because I'm stubborn.

Because I'm a fool,
Because I still love you even when I knew I had hurt you,
Even when I know you don't anymore,
Because I'm still going crazy thinking if you're fine.

But it's best that you forget,
Forget about me,
about us,
And what we used to be.

Because I can't,
Don't know if I ever will,
If I'll live a day again without the memory of you,
If I'd be fine again without you.

But boy, I'm a criminal,
This punishment is probably okay,
Because I broke you,
And with you along goes the biggest part of my heart.

But I'll smile,
I'll dance no more though,
Because the puppeteer is no where to be found,
Dont think i ever will.

I'll miss you forever,
I know it's my fault,
And I don't blame you,
I hate myself for it too.

But I'll keep on smiling,
Plastering that fake smile,
Mustering up my courage,
To try and live a day without you.

I can't though,
Thought I was the one to wipe off your tears,
One to make you smile,
But i ended up tearing you apart.

It's selfish,
But i don't really want you to forget about me,
I want you to remember me as who i was,
Not who i am

Thought that I'd never cry myself again to bed,
But lo and behold I did,
But don't worry I'm fine,
I'll never let you see how broken I really am.

Never let you see what's going on in that flower painted curtain,
The demons howling behind my mask,
Because they're irrelevant,
I'll always be fighting for letting you free from yours.

Told you that I'd paint a smile on your face,
You know that I'll go down with you,
Told you that I'd be there for you,
But I wasn't.

People come and go,
You never really lost me,
I'm just there,
But I fear thar I lost you though.

In the depth of the dark sea,
I know I can't swim,
But I'll drown myself finding you,
And you know that.

I hear my heart shattering,
I see myself sink into a dark abyss,
But I'll be fine,
Don't care about me.

I'd chase you,
But you're too far off,
My legs are tired and weary,
Maybe its time to stop.

Catch my breath,
Run again,
Rhythm of my mind,
The music of my heart.

I'll never give up,
Even when my battered heart can't keep up,
I'll run,
Because I loved you more than anything else.

I'll just let you find another galaxy,
With far more stars than I could ever contain,
It's okay if you leave me,
I cost you more than enough already.

Cost you your warriors,
Cost you your heart,
Revived your demons,
And im sure that sorry is less than enough.

I laugh at myself,
For thinking that im kind,
No im not,
Im the worst person ive ever met.

Now run boy,
Run faster than you can,
Run away from me,
Forget about me.

I dont want you to see me spilling blood,
By the spears they've pierced me with,
I don't want you to hear my screams,
As I slowly died.

Run faster and never look back,
Cover your ears and keep your smile,
Meeting me was poison,
It truley was better off without me.

Run harder than you can,
The clock is ticking,
Smiles are fading,
But you still looked back.

No one could ever hate me,
They said,
But believe me,
They will.

Just give them time,
To see how dirty i really am,
Then off to war we all go,
And i'll die for all of you.

Nights and nights,
Memories of you, of me, and what we used to be,
Danced a waltz across my mind,
Saying goodbye to them but i never really did.

Told myself is forget about you,
That i wont chase for you,
But it was all a lie,
I cant seem to stop.

Running beyond point, 
Crying even when i told myself to stop,
That it was all fine,
I know it wasnt.

I knew ill chase you till the end of the universe,
Wonder how you moved on so fast,
Wonder if I'll ever be able to,
Wonder where I went wrong.

Sometimes I wished we were still together,
But all was just an illusion,
Whishing that i didnt have to let you go,
But i must.

It wasn't easy though,
Since you're one hell of an important person,
And i can still feel the missing hole inside my heart,
But sokay i just have to paint my smiles brighter.

They said that promises were meant to be broken,
But I never seem to break the promise I've made you,
When I promised that I'll make you smile even when I can't make myself,
When i promised I'll bring the stars down to you.

It's my fault really,
For me to never bring myself to hate you,
To not be able to bring myself to stop loving,
I truly am deeply sorry

I'll still be there fighting your wars even when you fall,
I'll lend a hand,
Grab you through,
Even when I know you probably hate me.

Thank you for the time,
You've spent with a monster like me,
For not being afraid,
I'll not break my promise.

I'm still glad that you gave me hope,
That there'd a forever between us,
That anything with you is possible,
That all will be fine with you.

I'll still be fighting your wars though,
Even when I'm your most unwanted sheild,
I'll be there,
Foolishly waiting for you to pick me up again.

Even when my stars stops shining,
And I don't see the light of day,
I'll love you, Sherlock,
Forver and always.

[*Sherlock is only a pseudonym of the person spoken]

P.s. Sherlock, if you're reading this, never mind what I said and forget what you saw. It'll better for you anyways