Goodnight, love

Death of the ballerina

Little ballerina,
Dancing in circles,
Gracefully painting pictures,
Pleasing everyone.

Every move agile,
Every move perfect,
Keeping rhythm,
Keeping smiles.

She was 5,
Tiny and fragile,
But bold and wild,
She made everyone happy.

But even so they stared at her,
With staring curious eyes,
Eager for her to fail,
To trip and fall.

But she told herself to hold it together,
Hold it tighter,
Make everyone feel better,
Better than how she feels.

Dancing pirouettes,
Bending over,
The show was over,
And everyone seemed happy.

Everybody cheering,
Everybody yelling out her name for everyone to hear,
Throwing roses and confetti,
It was as if she was the queen of all queens.

But the darkness inside her grows,
Eating away her smiles,
Her heart,
All of who she is.

Leaving behind a hollow thunderous monster,
Taking shape of her,
Still smiling,
Still dancing.

It was as though nothing happened at all,
Nothing ever happened,
"I'm the same,"
She told the world.

She was growing thinner,
She was growing older,
Her fraud smiles are nowhere to be found,
Replaced by lips that have never smiled before.

"Pitettra Agucelli, The Young Ballerina,"
Scattered signs say,
Declaring to the world who she was,
And telling the world who she isn't anymore.

People walk past her with sad eyes,
For the angles fallen from fame,
Her wings broken,
She was never coming back.

She waved at them shyly,
Remembering those who had cheered for her,
But all they do was stare at her,
As if they didn't know who she was.

But no one knew this monster really,
How one could be a cherub then the devil's slave,
How one could be so happy then so sad,
How could one person be the same yet so different.

She saw people staring at her poster,
Running their hands across,
As if remembering,
Remembering how she was happy before.

Voices in her head tell her she wasn't enough,
They said that she hadn't worked enough,
That dancing had no use,
And that she was never going to be good enough.

They told her of a fate of a girl,
Who never impressed anyone,  
Who never seem to smile anymore,
Who restrained from the will of God.

They told her that no one would love her,
That she wasn't kind enough,
That her eyes aren't pretty enough,
And her smiles are like broken false hopes.

But boys fell for her,
They told her how beautiful she was,
How she was their princess,
But she never cared.

She felt that she was not okay,
That she was a problem to everyone,
That everyone is hurt because of her,
Because of who she is.

Some people tried to raise her head up,
Making her see how great she was,
How beautiful she was,
But she didn't listen.

She pretended that she was blind,
That she was deaf,
Unable to hear,
Unable to see.

She had a concert again,
Dancing around jumping,
Keeping a smile on,
As she danced on a nail covered floor.

Her body aching,
She feet bleeding,
Smile slowly fleeting,
She was hurting.

Her jumps weren't good enough,
Her twists and turns hurts every time,
The nails keep her crying at night,
As if the audience wouldn't see.