Goodnight, love

Dreams

Every time I close my eyes,
I dream of stars,
I dream of me pulling them closer,
Lighting everything up.

I dream of the ghost of my smile,
When my strings weren't attached,
When drums didn't drum during the day,
When witches didn't roam the night.

I dream of helping them,
People with much larger demons,
I dream of being stringer,
Even though I know I can't.

I dream of yelling,
My voice reaching the other side of the mountain,
I dream of what I used to be,
I dream that I'd be able to dream again.

But those were dreams,
Anything can happen in them,
You could be a princess of your own nightmares,
But in reality you can't.

In reality I'm a small powerless little child,
A warrior without their sword,
A fighter of a losing war,
Night with a starless sky.

When I was younger,
I wished,
To sleep and never wake up,
To stop breathing and be with my dreams.

But the world didn't want so,
I wake in the middle of the night,
Eyes stubborn,
As I lay there wanting to sleep.

I think about how,
In reality I'm just a lost child,
Who's heart was shattered into pieces,
Who's demons were ready to pounce.

A child who's dreams were their only escape,
From the demons outside their door,
From the grip anchoring them down,
The hands they've tried so hard to run away from.

I wish that the crows would fly me away,
Eat me,
Eat my soul along,
Away from the starless night.

But force kept on waking me up,
Tells me to smile,
Tells me to dance,
To put on a show.

I get tired from hearing them all,
From the nights I cried myself to sleep,
The stars I couldn't keep,
When my demons fought and I fear that they'd drag me in.

The witches told me to hush,
To hold myself and never speak,
Even as I watch my heart bleed out,
Even as I watch them slice me down.

They said that it'd be okay,
That it was normal to feel this way,
They said that they were never free,
Said that we also won't be.

They were convinced that Angels were demons who ruin their plan,
That demons are angels who drag down the damned,
I thought that this was wrong,
But they told me to hush and never speak.

They told me to smile,
And dance gracefully,
To paint their faces with smiles,
And that they're always right and I was wrong.

So I did what they said,
I smile the brightest of smiles,
And I dance my heart out,
For I am a puppet and I am to be manipulated.

I did what they said,
And ripped my soul out,
I believed that I was of no importance,
And they were the kings and the queens.

They said, "darling don't be a poet,
Be a person out of steel,
Hear our words,
And be like us."

I smiled at them as they told me to,
I straightened my back prim and proper,
I wrapped what I know,
And replace it to what they said.

For I know that this will end,
And a few minutes later,
It'll dissipate,
Along with me.

That night under the starless sky,
I dug my heart out and watch it fly,
I did what they told me and said goodbye,
One last time.

As I lay there,
Bleeding hard,
Be one with my dreams,
And never waking up.

They said this was the coward's way out,
That in this game of kill and be killed,
To be killed is a misfortune,
But I'd never chose to kill.

I know that right is right,
Not right is wrong,
Call me foolish to think so,
But I am mine and mine alone.

I might be a coward,
I might be a fool,
But I'd never be like them, like you,
You won't be able to drag me down too.

I'll be my own person,
Grow my wings,
Paint my own smiles,
And fly away from you.

I might be not made of steel,
I might be not who you wanted me to,
But I'm proud to be different,
Unlike you.