Goodnight, love

My Dearest Friend

You stood atop the mountain,
Looking beyond to what I can't see,
The clouds changing forms,
As your tears streams down your face.

You're wounded all over,
Your hands are filled with wounds,
The once I witnessed you slicing up,
You told me not to tell anyone.

I didn't,
But I wanted to scream,
I wanted to throw myself out your bedroom window,
Because you're not okay.

Chasing fleeting busses,
Chasing after girls,
Broken hopes and dreams,
They cut your knees bloody.

I try to pull you up but I'm not strong enough,
Every time you run after something we run after you,
Every time you tell yourself you're not good enough,
We wonder what we've done wrong.

Every hopes and every dream,
We hold them up to you,
In hopes that maybe all of us would be together,
That you'll be my friend forever.

Below the mountains are the woods,
Where many adventurers tread and never came back,
But look at you!
You've been here twice.

Sometimes running after you is a task,
And I've ran away from all my nightmares,
And I throw myself at you,
Because I fear that I can't let you go.

Smiling at you, seeing you smile,
Seeing you dancing under the stars at midnight,
Seeing you chase after things you love,
All of it is a wonderful sight.

But sometimes,
Sometimes on nights I hate I hear you cry,
I hear your fears,
And yet I don't know what to do.

Days and days I feel useless,
For I don't know how to make you happy,
I don't know how to paint pictures of you,
Ones that I'd keep forever.

But you are our warrior,
With longswords and spears you run to wars,
You run to wars that aren't yours,
And I run after you.

Your feet bare and calloused,
Your cheeks tear streaked,
And your heart shattered,
I pull you back.

You yell at me for it,
But I can't let you go there,
Not if you're dying,
Because I'd rather not live without you in this world.

You shine bright,
Brighter than the sun if I say,
Dancing, killing,
You're stronger than I am.

You smile at me, at us,
We ask you if you're alright,
You'd say yes,
But I know that's a lie.

I know that you'd smile at us even when someone dies,
Because you wouldn't like to see us worried and crying,
You wouldn't want to see us all bruised,
As I won't won't want to see you broken.

Times and times you've ran to us,
And we ran at you,
Trying to piece you together,
And sometimes even when we try in vain none of it works.

Sometimes I wonder what I am to you,
If I'm only a mere door that you could pass straight through and forget
Sometimes I wonder if you even want me around,
If I'm even enough.

I worry about you and the others,
I worry that maybe I hadn't tried my hardest,
That perhaps you're not okay because of me,
Maybe I've done something wrong.

Maybe you told us that you're alright,
But then we'd find you dead,
And I'd be screaming because I've done nothing,
I've cared too less perhaps.

People tell me to stop running,
To stop running after you,
Stop pulling you up,
Stop wiping your tears away.

But I can't,
Because every time I see you down my heart breaks,
My legs tremble,
And I wish I was you instead.