Goodnight, love

Father

To the person who taught me,
To be who I am,
To be who I want to be,
To be whatever my stars tell me.

You who helped me reach the stars,
You who told me that everything would be fine,
You who told me that the sun would rise,
And I'd see the sun rise.

you were there to ask me if I was okay,
Despite me not asking you on how you'd been,
You'd always smiled,
Always stayed for me.

You are superman,
You are my hero,
Although I hated you,
You never stopped loving.

You never stopped loving me,
My brothers,
My mum,
And I've never even said an "I love you too, dad" ever.

You never stopped chasing the sun,
You never stopped dragging me with you,
You never stopped being kind,
You never stopped being who he is.

I wish I'd been a greater daughter,
I wish I'd stayed for you,
Retrievied your stars,
Never left.

I wish I could've been there for you,
When you cried at night,
On how a failure of a father you were ,
On how he never raised us well.

I wish I would've minded you,
When you yelled at the moon,
The stars,
And everything that's not there.

When you yelled at us for misbehaving,
When he told us how unloved he felt,
I wantwd to tell him that I do love him,
But if doubt he'd believe.

I wish I would've aced my grades,
That I couldve had the brains,
That I was kinder than I am,
That I am who you wanted me to be.

I wish I was more taleneted,
I wish I wasn't a bastard,
I wish I loved him more,
I wish I never stopped smiling.

"Achi, I missed your old smile," he said,
"The way your smile lights up your face,
The way you raised your head up,
I really do."

I miss her too, dad,
But I don't think she'll come back,
For her stars are coverd,
And she is shattered.

Because you told her to change,
You broke her,
And now her peices are scattered,
And we can't find them all.

But it's okay,
I'll still love you,
Even when you hate me,
And sometimes it's okay to break.

Id just have to make a new one,
Stronger than the last,
But I fear that I'm not strong enough,
So I fear that I might not be able to.

I'm sorry for not being a perfect child,
For not smiling,
For not being smart,
Sometimes I think it'd be better off without me.

I'm sorry that I failed,
I'm sorry for wasting your time,
I'm sorry for making you love me,
I'm sorry for any body who had.

I'm sorry for not listening,
I'm sorry for not letting you know that I love you,
For not showing my best,
I'm sorry for everything.

You said that nobody can be perfect,
That nobody could reach the stars,
That nothing could be fixed,
But you still pushed through to defy all odds.

You told me about tales on how when you were younger,
You failed a lot,
Told me that even the most brilliant of all people also make a mistakes,
Like me, like you, like all of us.

But time has passed since then,
I wonder if you know that you still have a daughter,
Wonder if you're still waiting for me to smile,
Wonder if you're waiting for me to brighten up the world.

Wonder if youd still have time for us,
Wonder if you'd smile at me again,
Wonder if you miss us,
Because even when you don't think we do, we do miss you.

I miss those nights when I was younger,
When you'd tell me stories,
Of those dragons and princesses,
Those tales that'd never happen.

Then one night you told me that your go far away,
To a land where everything is fine,
I smiled at you, thought that was where princesses dwell,
So I asked if I could go.

You smiled at me sweetly,
I knew the answer was no,
Maybe all what had happened was a fairy tale,
Maybe you didn't exist at all.

You'd come home only a few days in a week,
And ask us if we miss you,
You've been gone for so long,
Your absence we've gotten used to.

I'm sorry, dad, that all was fine,
Im sorry dad that I didn't cry,
I'm sorry dad that I didn't chase you,
Because I know it was for the best.

Therefore I strived to be stronger,
To be who you wanted me to be,
I strived to smile,
To pay for all the hard work you've done.

Some starless nights,
Id just wake up,
Pretend that this reality was a dream,
And all that what I'd dreamt of was reality.

Somtimes I wished for a shooting star to pass by,
That even when it was just for a few short seconds,
Id have hopes that you come back,
That there's something I'd be able to hold on to.

Sometimes I'd wish that you never left us at all,
That we could've stayed poor,
As long as we had you,
As long as we are whole.

For every passing light that pased through,
They are rare and not enough,
But I still pressed through,
In hopes that youd come back.

Because we do miss you,
We do love you,
More than what you think,
More than what we show.

Thank you dad,
For yelling at us,
For giving us punishments,
For shaping us into better people.

Told us that it was so that we wont make the same mistakes as you did,
For us to be greater than you were,
For us to be greater,
For us to be not looked down upon.

But thing is,
That you might not be perfect,
But you surely are the greatest,
And I want to be just like you.