tmi » larry

v. ghost of you

v. Ghost of You // { Gabrielle Aplin & Bastille - Dreams }

I opened the cabinet and searched for a snack. I sighed, and closed the door. If I didn't find anything to eat soon I would go crazy. I ran a hand through my wet curls, and sighed loudly. 

"You don't bloody know him!" 

I shook my head, and touched my neck. I jumped, where was the necklace. I got up, and ran to the bathroom. I pushed around the clothing franticlly. Where was it? I groaned. 

"Where are you?" I screamed. I pushed around the clothes, cursing myself under my breathe. I tugged at my hair, and leaned against the wall. My eyes searched in a panic for the necklace, I felt my eyes water and I slid down the wall. "Wh-where are you?" 

Look closer.

My head popped up and I looked around. I got to my feet, and sniffled. "Hello?" I said softly, and opened the door. I walked to my living room and swallowed hard. I walked the whole house expecting another person but I didnt find anyone. I sighed, and bit down on my lip.

"It's official, your going crazy Harry Styles." I whispered to myself, and went back to the bathroom. I picked up my clothes and started to fold them. As I folded my pants I saw a hint of silver slip out of the pocket and into the facuent. 

"NO!" I screamed, and grabbed the tip of the airplane. My eyes widened and I sighed in relief. I pulled the chain out and winced. The chain was covered in dirt and who knows what else. I grabbed a few sheets of toilet paper and ran it under the water. I hummed a melody and wiped down the chain.

Told you.

My head snapped around, my eyes searching the hallway. I bit my lip, and looked away. I put the necklace around my neck, and looked up at me. I winced at the image. I had dark circles around my eyes and I probably had lost some pounds. I looked horrible. Ugly, even. I looked away and closed my eyes.

I promised the boys that I would stop picking at myself, and that's what I must do. I tried again. I looked up at my reflection, and cringed. I looked fatter now. My face was inflated, and my eyes looked like I had gotten piss drunk. I shook my head, and looked down at my wrists.

"You don't know him." I heard myself say. I lifted up my sleeves and watched as the scars reavealed. I shook my head and traveled my finger down my forearm. I bit my lip, remembering every single memory. Every single trigger that drived me to doing so. Management. My fans. The media. Myself. 

Find me.

My head snapped up. If that stupid voice talks one more time my neck is going to snap off. I groaned, and pulled down my sleeve. "Who the fuck are you? Come out here and talk to me like a man, huh? Get the fuck out of my house!"

"Alright, alright!" said Zayn, and I jumped. I placed a hand on my heart, and he chuckled. "Who were you talking to?"

"Y-you?"

He furrowed his eyebrows. "I barely got here, Harry. I just came to tell you somethings."

I nodded, and we walked to the living room. "How'd you get here?" I asked, sitting down on the couch. He chuckled.

"Front door was open, mate."

I shook my head. "N-no, I closed it."

He shrugged. "I just came here to tell you that I think you should find Louis."

"Why?"

"Because I know that you care for him."

"And?"

"And I think you deserve him as much as he does. You guys seem to have a lot in common."

"And what's that? Cutting ourself, being suicidal?" I spat, and shook my head. Just a few months ago, Zayn was telling me how idiotic it was for me to try to commit suicide. He frowned, and shifted awkwardly under my gaze.

"I know I was a bit harsh with you, Harry. I was a tool, and I'm so sorry. I-I-I don't know what I was think to be honest." He admitted, and I furrowed my eyebrows. He sighed, and placed a hand on my knee. "I think you guys might even end up falling in love."

I smiled, and shook my head. "To love someone, I need to love myself."

"Hey, you will soon okay? But right now, it's about finding Louis."

I nodded. He was right. Right now, I needed to find Louis and just stop him from hurting himself. Like the boys stopped me. Louis needed someone, and I intended to be that someone. I bit my lip, and nodded.

"You want to go looking for him?" he said, taking out his keys. I raised an eyebrow in amusement. He smirked, and shrugged. "What?"

"Nothing, now c'mon." I grabbed Louis' letter and ran out the door. We walked down the apartments to Zayn's car. We looked around for fans or paps, when we didn't see any we sprinted to his car. He unlocked my door, then walked to his. I got in, and inhaled a deep breathe.

"Ready?" he asked, and I nodded. He smiled softly, and we took off. I watched as house passed by. The house was only a few minutes away, but it seemed like years away. Every single second I'd check the letter, back to the clock, back to the houses, then back down to the letter.

"H-how would we know wh-what house?" I said, my teeth rattling from the cold Doncaster air. He smiled, and motioned his head to the back of his car. I turned and saw a jacket. I reached for it, and hugged it to my body.

"We won't. We're going to have to go door to door asking." he admitted, and shrugged. I sighed, but nodded. "We're going to park by a house and wait for the morning, yeah? We'll find him,H." 

I held onto those words. We'll find him, H. You hear that Louis? We'll find you.......