tmi » larry

xxxv. permission

{ One Direction - Irresistible }

                    I felt as Harry got up from the bed. I watched as he opened his door and disappeared. I sat up, and looked down at my arms. Three fresh cuts were on each arm. I shivered and looked away.

I pushed off the covers and went to his bathroom. I was an idiot, and I hated myself. Instead of enjoying the fact that Harry and I made love, I go ahead and hurt myself. Sighing, I opened his cabinet in search of some alcohol.

I bit my lip as I pushed around some tubes. One falls and I sighed. I leaned down to pick it up and noticed the label.

'Anti-Depressants: Harry E. Styles. '

I furrowed my eyebrows. Anti-Depressants? Was Harry-

"Lou?" he said, and I turned around. I immediately hide the tube. "What's that behind your back?"

"Nothing." I lied, but he was already walking towards me. He yanked my arm and grabbed the red tube.

"Louis?" he asked, and I sighed. "What were you planning to do?"

"Nothing!" I said, and frowned. "What were you planning on doing? Harry, what's going on?"

"There's nothing going on!" he frowned, and put them back where they belong. I swallowed hard.

"Harry, what's wrong?" I say softly, and touched his cheeks. He shook his head.

"It's nothing, I'm okay, okay? I made us breakfast." he smiled, and I nodded, tugging at my sleeves. "The lads are coming over."

"For what?"

"Their permission." he said, taking my hand in his. I furrowed my eyebrows.

"Permission for what?" I asked, lost at this point. Harry smiled, dimples and all. We walked downstairs but I couldn't help but look back at his bathroom.

Ever since I stumbled upon One Direction, not once had it ever occurred to me that Harry was struggling with depression.

"Harry are you depressed?" I blurt out, but quickly slap a hand over my mouth. "I'm sorry, I-"

He pressed his lips against mine. "I love you." he whispered, and kissed my nose. The doorbell soon rang.

"But Harry-"

"Come in." Harry interrupted, obviously avoiding the topic. In a way, I understood him. Depression was a serious topic, and one who is dealing with it doesn't want to talk about it.

"Hey guys." smiled Liam, then Niall, then Zayn. Two months of knowing them, and I'm still not over it. Me, fanboy from Doncaster, in the same room as One fuckin Direction.

"Hey mate." said Harry, letting go of my hand to hug his best friends. I smiled at the view, it was nice.

"Hey Lou." said the irish blonde-dyed boy. I smiled, and waved. I soon came to the realization that I was only wearing Harry's shirt from yesterday. My cheeks quickly turned red.

"I think you forgot your pants." teased Niall, even if he meant it with kindness and not rudeness, I blushed and bit the inside of my cheek.

"I'll be back." I whispered, and went up the stairs to Harry's room. As I searched for my pants, I looked up at his bathroom. Let it go, Louis.

I opened his bathroom door and searched for the red tube. To my surprise it was gone. I furrowed my eyebrows, and looked around the room.

"Looking for something?" said someone, and I turned to see Zayn. He was raised his eyebrows, arms crossed.

"N-no." I lied. "I was looking for my contacts." I scratched my eye, and he nodded.

"Harry is pretty tidy." he chuckled, and I nodded. I smiled, and pretended to look for them. "He loves you, y'know."

I turned. "What?"

"He really loves you. And you've broken him, he's been through a lot, Louis. Management, rude fans, friends." he whispered the last part.

"Is he" I whispered and looked down. "Did I make him so depressed that he has to take pills?"

"Not just you." he said, and pushed himself from the doorframe. I licked my lips, and nodded. "Management has so much power over him. Did he tell you about the fight he had with him on Gemma's party?"

Yes, and that's when I cheated on him by kissing my ex. Then his surprised came on, then I felt like shit. "Yeah." I said, and sighed. "I really messed up, didn't I?"

"We all do." he said, patting my arm. "But we all have the right to a second chance."

"There you all are." said Liam, and we turned to face him. "Louis, Harry has a announcement." He smiled, and then left.

I looked up at Zayn. "Do you-"

"-I honestly don't." he said, and I nodded.

"I'll go, let me find my pants first." I chuckled, and he nodded. He left, and I sighed.

I closed the bathroom door and put on some sweats from Harry's closet. As I shook the sweats from it's place, a journal falls out. I sighed, seems like I'm finding all of Harry's secrets.

"Lou?" called Harry from downstairs.

"Coming." I said, and put the journal back. I fix my fringe and walked downstairs. I bit my lip, and catch Harry's gaze.

He smiled softly, and chuckles. "Nice sweats." he teases, and I rolled my eyes. I sit down on a couch. "Okay, so I've gathered you all here for an announcement, slash, permission."

"For what?" said Zayn, and I nodded.

"For permission to give Louis, that person over there, a private concert." he smiled.

"What?" I said, a smile growing on my lips. Harry smiled.

"Louis, you told me you've never been to one, so I thought since One Direction is breaking up, why not give my number one fan a private concert?"

I scoffed, and shook my head. "I-I-" I stuttered, and felt my eyes start to water. "I fuckin love you!" I threw myself at him, and kissed his lips.

"Get a room!" teased Niall, but Harry didn't pull away. He simply just laid me on the couch, and continued to kiss me. "Okay, well you haven't gotten our approval."

I opened my eyes a bit to see Harry putting up one finger, indicating Niall to either wait or shut up. I smiled and pulled away.

"I'm in." smiled Liam.

"Same." said Zayn, smiling. "But I want to bring Perrie."

"And I'll bring Sophia." said Liam. I glanced at Harry. He bit his lip.

"Alright." he said, and then turned his attention towards me. "And who will you bring?"

"My penis." I whispered, and he laughed. He looked into my eyes, the way he always does. The feeling in my stomach never getting old.

"I love you." he whispered, and I smiled softly. "I love you so much, Louis."

"I love you too, Harry." I said, and kissed his cheek. He smiled, and I memorized every inch on his face.

Authors Note: I just want you guys to know that I enjoyed writing every single chapter on this story. But every story has to end. But this journey was amazing. ♥

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