Just When I Needed You Most (Sequel to Forever & Always)

Chapter 51 (Final Chapter)

ALLI POV: I scream, as he holds me down. He puts his hands around my throat and begins to reach up my shirt. I try to squirm out of his reach, but I can't. I'm beginning to become light headed as he removes my bra. I cry. 

"Just kill me." I plead, gasping for bits of air.

"Nah sweetheart. That would be a waste of such a good girl." He says, mocking me as he grabs me. He goes down to unbutton my pants, still clenching onto my throat as I attempt to kick him. He releases my neck. I try to drag myself away, but he grabs my legs and drags me back over.

"Please stop!" I beg. 

"No thanks. You know if you would just shut up and stay still, this would be a lot easier for the both of us." He says grimly. I close my eyes tightly, as tears roll down my cheeks. 

"Alli!" Hunter gives me a final shake to awaken me. I begin to weep. "Shhhhhh... Honey. It's okay. Everything is going to be alright." He places his hand on my back, running it back and forth. It calms me. 

"Was it the same dream?" He asks. I nod, and sit up to face him. 

"I think I need to see somebody about this again. They're getting much worse and way more graphic." I tell Hunter, as he wipes away my tears. He crawls up in bed next to me, and holds me close. He makes me feel safe. 

Hunter has been staying over for a long while now. We graduated about 3 months ago and are both planning on attending Vanderbuilt. Hunter started staying over when his Dad began to drink again. I don't mind it. I find it easier to talk to him than it is to talk to Gracie or Maggie at this point. 

Gracie and her family moved in so I wouldn't have to switch schools. Her son is a few years younger than Hunter and I, so we all get along well. Gracie really hasn't talked to me personally about anything. We just have never been like that. Audrey, on the other hand, talks to me all the time. She knew Carrie a lot more than everybody else did. It also helps that the age difference is a lot less than the difference between Gracie, Maggie, and I. 

Hunter recently has been the only one keeping me sane. Audrey lives over an hour away, so I can't see her nearly as much as I would like to. Hunter is a good listener though, which is what I need most at times. 

He and I have been writing songs lately. I find it kind of therapeutic. It's been about a year since Dad's passing and I still don't forgive myself. I should've been there for him. I should've come home earlier, so I could've called 9-1-1. Tears begin to fill my eyes when I think about it. 

I walk downstairs to grab some breakfast. I see Hunter and Graice's husband talking about something as I walk to the pantry. Gracie walks up to me. 

"Hey, Alli. Can I talk to you for a minute?" She says, holding an envelope and a cup of coffee. I nod as we walk out to the patio. The august sunshine warms me up inside, as she hands me the letter. 

"Dad told me to give this to you once you were ready." She says, putting it on the seat. She takes a final look at it, then walks back inside, without saying another word. I open up the letter.

Dear Alli, 

I'm so sorry I have left you this way, and I want you to know that wherever you are, I'm still there with you. No matter what, I will always love you and be proud of you. You are my baby girl! I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have the chance to get you back. Giving you up in the first place was my worst mistake, but I was lucky enough together another shot at raising you up to be the amazing woman you are today. You have no idea how much joy and light you have brought to my life. I wouldn't trade a single day spent with you, for a year more of life alone. Thank you for spending time with me in these last few days. You don't know how much that meant to me. You were there for me just when I needed you most, and that's a debt that I don't think I have time to repay. 

I gave this to Gracie so she could give it to you once you're ready to read this. Honey, please move on. I love you till the end of time, but please do not waste your tears on me. I'm not worth that much. I want you to be happy, wreckless, and free for me. I don't want you to mope around like I did after your mother died. I'm sure she would be so proud of you too. 

There's a million little things that I wish I could've told you, but never had the time too. I wrote a bunch of letters (and I mean an assload) for you and the people around you, for after I'm gone. They all have an event or title on them that should address what each of them is about. They're in the drawer of the desk in my room. There's also a few song books and journals and different things you can have too.

Alli, I want you to fall in love. Love is the most important thing in this world. Yes, you are going to get your heart broken from time to time. But keep your heart open, no matter how hard that is. Knowing you, love should come easily to you. This sounds a bit strange, but you never have reminded me that much of your mother. You always have reminded me more of Faith, who I was married to before I met your mother. With all honesty, Faith was the love of my life and I don't think anything could compete with that. If I was married to your mother for 20 years, I would probably have said that about your mom. You have a good soul, Alli. You are meant to do great things in this world.

Alli, last but not least, do what you love. Don't settle for some piece of shit job or some fancy degree, just because someone tells you it's good for you. Do what you want to do. Don't let anyone persuade you any other way... even if what you want to do is stupid. I know you're about to start college about now, and I sound like a horrible parent saying this, but I never thought that college was really your thing, Alli. I know parents are supposed to encourage you to go to college and get a high ranking job, but you are brilliant already. I hear you singing in your room everyday. I've heard the songs you write. Honey, you have talent. Don't waste it. I dropped out of college after a semester to head to Nashville. Luckily, you already live in Nashville. That just makes it one step easier. Honey, take a chance. Be brave. I know you want this. You've always talked about how you wanted to be on stage singing. You have what it takes. Don't wait for the "right time". Just do it now! Don't wait till you're 40 with kids and a husband and a crappy part time job. Chase you dreams baby.

I love you so much Alli. Just please be true to yourself after I'm gone. You've been through so much and you bring me so much hope. You deserve the world. Shoot for the stars, and maybe you can land on the moon. Baby, fall in love, like you have no sense at all. It's scary, but it's so worth it. I cannot stress that enough. I love you so dearly, and I'm so proud of you. Keep making me proud. Don't let anyone stop you from being who you are. Show them what you've got and never give up.

-Tim