The Wolf In sheeps clothing

Two sides of the War

Dave tapped lightly on Niall's door and it was instantly opened. He took in Niall's distraught expression and frowned slightly. "Hey, it's OK calm down. We can talk, yeah? I have all night" he said soothingly and watched Niall's stiff shoulders sag with relief. "Can I come in?" . Niall stepped aside and Dave entered the dark room. He tapped a few numbers into a small keypad  just inside the door and light instantly flooded the room. "That's better. Sometimes you have to override the system."

"Thanks for coming, Dave. I'm really sorry to bother you, it's just that I....I don't know....reached rock bottom..and I didn't know what to do." Niall said anxiously, his sentences disjointed.

"Lad, I'm glad you called me. It's no bother and I'd rather you reached out and asked for help than sat and suffered alone. Let's have a cuppa and talk. In your own time, no rush" Dave spoke calmly as he headed towards the small kitchen area and filled the tea kettle, switching it on , then searched in the cupboard for the mugs, tea and sugar.

"Cheers" Niall took the proffered mug from Dave and curled up into a corner of the couch. He took a sip then held the mug with two hands as his forehead creased in thought. Where to begin?  "Ummh, I have been thinking about our sessions..about taking control. I'm ready..I want to, Dave...just not sure how to begin. I'm a stubborn git, I know" he finished ruefully.

"You've already begun, Niall. In fact you're half way there already".   Dave said confidently then smiled at Niall's confused expression. "Ni, until you recognised you needed to take charge, you were at a standstill. Now you have taken a step forward, a major step, and that is half the battle. You've made a start. We just need to keep the momentum up, keep  you moving forward."

"I want to be normal, have a normal life though. Can't see that happening" Niall sounded a little dejected.

"What's normal?" Dave countered . "Normal is what you want to make it. Look, living with a serious chronic illness is no walk in the park. You'll have some times you'll feel great, others when you can barely function. It's about how you  deal with those changes.If you have strategies in place, it will be easier. Learning to manage your health will stop flareups impacting you because you'll have greater control. It's a learning curve, Niall. You'll do great, you'll mess up. But life is like that, isn't it."

"I guess so" Niall was thoughtful. "So where do we start?"

"I suggest you get yourself to bed and get a good night's sleep. How about we escape this place tomorrow? Explore?" Dave grinned at Niall who smiled back.

"Sounds like a plan to me. This place feels like a prison" Niall replied. 

"I have to disable the lights, Ni. Get into bed before I do" Niall obeyed and Dave keyed more numbers into the keypad and the room plunged into darkness. "Sleep well" and he was gone.

When Niall wandered down to the Dining room, he saw Dave in conversation with Jonah who was nodding his head rapidly. The moment Dave spotted Niall, he spoke a few more words to the Orderly then walked over to Niall, grinning broadly. "Ready to escape?" he asked cheerfully.

"Definitely. This place is a jail" Niall responded

"Then let's bust out" Dave clapped Niall on the shoulder and headed out, Niall following rapidly behind him.

"Where to?" Niall asked curiously as they approached Dave's car.

"To climb a mountain" Dave replied "Hop in!" .Dave turned the radio on and they drove in companionable silence until they reached the base of a  mountain.

"I thought you were joking?" Niall said as they got out of the car.

""Nope...and you'll love the view."Dave shoved several bottles of water into a back pack and slung the straps over one shoulder. "Come on, before it gets too warm." And they set off.

"Wow" Niall sat down and stared across the desert. All he could see was brown earth and Cactus. It was both barren and breathtakingly beautiful in an odd way. He felt that he could almost see forever.

"Stunning isn't it " Dave said as he sipped on his water " Peaceful too." Dave left Niall to relax , biding his time until he felt the time was right to open the conversation. "You've been  fighting  against help, then you got angry when you get sick. Why?" Dave asked casually.

"I don't actually know" Niall replied. He sounded perplexed. Now Dave had put it that way, Niall wondered why he kept going against all the help he was offered. Yes, he felt it was taking control from him, yet he also realised that Dave was right, he was sabotaging his own health by doing it. But he couldn't grasp why. He knew he was stubborn and hated being told what to do but he also was seeing how ridiculous his attitude was proving. "I don't understand myself sometimes. I mean, I got those flower things we did. I want help..but when it comes to accepting it..I guess there's some devil in me that rebels." Niall admitted. "I want to have a life..and having restrictions makes me feel like I will be having no life at all. Yet my sensible head is telling me that if I have this illness under control then I can get on with life. It's like the two sides of me are constantly at war."

"Well, how about this..you allow us to help, do as we all suggest..and see what happens. If, as I think you will, end up feeling better, then you'll know we are right. If you feel worse.....then...." Dave raised a questioning brow at Niall who looked back, a thoughtful expression on his face. 

"You're on" Niall extended his hand and Dave shook it immediately.

"Let's head down" Dave said, hauling Niall to his feet. "Before they notice you're missing!"

"Ladies, Gentlemen, if we could get this meeting under way. We've a lot to get through"  Mark called out over the noise of chatter that was filling the Conference room. One by one the Orderlies discussed their patients, their progress or lack there of and ways and means of getting improvement. Finally Mark got to Jonah . "How are things with Niall Horan?"

"Actually, I'd say pretty good. Dave , here, has developed a real rapport with him. Niall has been very cooperative regarding his medication, he's willingly attended the relaxation and nutrition sessions and there have been no more battles over meals." Jonah said, glancing down at his notes.

"The 'sneaking out' has been really helpful" Dave took up the conversation. "I find that Niall has opened up more when he's been away from the facility, far more relaxed and willing to listen"

"And have either of you considered when Niall can be discharged from the facility?" Mark asked "Is he ready for that yet, or do you both feel his stay needs to be extended?"

"Honestly, I don't feel keeping him here is going to be of any further benefit. While he is here, I think he will continue to be proactive with his treatment but the real test will be when he's away and takes on total responsibility for his health" Jonah said . "Dave? What do you think?"

"I agree with, Jonah, Mark. Niall is doing well here but we have to allow him the chance to see if he can maintain progress outside of here. I am investigating whether we can provide him some support for a few weeks after he is discharged. Maybe either Jonah or I checking in with him ."

"That could be arranged with his Manager. Well, if that is the case, I think Niall can be discharged at the end of the week. 

Now if there is no further matters, I'll see you all next week." Mark smiled at everyone then gathered up his folders and left.

"I'll go break the good news to Niall" Dave said as he followed Mark out of the room.

"I can't wait to get out of here" Niall was nearly bouncing with excitement as he finished packing away the last of his belongings. 

"Ready to get back to work then, Ni?" James, his Manager asked, eyes twinkling.

"Yeah, I want to get the Album finished and released. I'm really looking forward to it. I've done some writing while I've been here. Good stuff, too, I think." Niall headed towards the door, bag in hand.

"Uh, Ni, there's something we need to talk about. You'd better see this" James handed Niall a newspaper . The headlines bored into Niall's eyes as he read.

"But it's not true. It's all lies......" Niall raised stunned blue eyes to meet James own, his face distraught.