The Wolf In sheeps clothing

Dave

"Niall, you really must start to eat" Jennie his nurse scolded him gently . "You're already underweight as it is, without things getting worse. You  really  do need to get your strength up." Niall looked at her and shrugged before looking away. The nurse picked up the untouched tray of food and carried it out of the room without further comment.. It was the sixth meal her patient had refused. Disposing of the tray, she went to the Nurses Station to update Niall's charts.  She had tried coaxing  then gentle scolding but nothing seemed to have any effect and Niall's health was definitely declining even more.

"Good evening, young man" Mr Hayes-Hamilton entered Niall's room and smiled pleasantly at his patient.

"Hi" Niall's response was barely above a whisper and he didn't look up at him but kept his eyes on his hands which were restlessly twisting his sheet into pleats then unravelling them, over and over in constant repetition. Mr Hayes-Hamilton took in the fidgeting motions and the dull and apathetic manner of the young Irish man, thought none of his concerns for his young patient registered on his face.

"Jennie tells me that you're not eating. I know hospital food isn't the greatest , but you don't seem to be interested in even trying it." The doctor kept his tone light and friendly as he perched on the side of Niall's bed. "Any reasons why?"

"Not hungry" Niall's reply was brief, still not looking at the doctor nor stilling the motion of his hands.

"You need to eat, Niall, if you want to get better. We should have had the flareup under control by now , yet there has been little improvement. And I  can't and won't go ahead with the new medication until we have you more stable." He paused, waiting to see if Niall would respond but Niall barely moved a shoulder in the tiniest of shrugs. "Niall, this can't continue. Do you want to go back to Arizona? They seemed to have  helped you there.".

"No, no. Don't send me back" Niall finally looked at Mr Hayes-Hamilton, panic written all over his face. "Please, don't" he pleaded.

"You're not giving me much option, Niall. You won't eat, you don't interact with anyone. Even your mother says you barely talk when she visits.We are all wanting you to get better but it's a team effort, Niall." Mr Hayes-Hamilton put a hand on Niall's shoulder and looked into Niall's blue eyes which looked dull and lifeless, their usual sparkle absent. "If you let us in, tell us what you're thinking, maybe we can help improve things for you." He gave Niall's shoulder a soft pat then sat back and waited........

"You'll think I'm stupid, childish" Niall finally mumbled.

"Stupid, you most definitely are not. Childish? No, but I think something is making you scared. If you talk, then we can perhaps remove those fears. The ball is in your court." The doctor spoke quietly and his tone was conversational. It was a method he found often helped relax patients who were tense and nervous,  and he smiled inwardly when he saw that it was having the desired effect on Niall.

"I just don't want to eat, I don't want to do anything. I just want to curl up and hide and not see any one." Niall admitted. "I can't even escape into sleep. I'm fed up of pretending it's ok when it isn't"

"Do you feel safe, Niall?" Mr Hayes-Hamilton asked, his voice still conversational. "If you were discharged from here, would you be safe?"

"I don't know what you mean" Niall said, looking away from the other man, his hands tugging and twisting the sheets even more.

"Yes, you do, Niall. You know exactly what I mean. Are you safe?" the doctor asked again, more firmly. Niall looked up at him, eyes wet as he shook his head.

"Thank you, Niall. I know you are  sick to death of fighting this illness but we can and will get it under control for you. But you have to do your share, too. That means eating properly, being honest with us as to how you are feeling and letting us help you. You made a really good start in Arizona but you are experiencing a little setback right now. But it is just that, a setback. It isn't failure." Mr Hayes-Hamilton held Niall's gaze with his own, his expression compassionate. "Now, from talking to you today, observing you and from the observations of your nurses and Doctor  Stephens  , I believe you have become depressed. It's natural and, unfortunately, often part of coping with Lupus. But it doesn't have to rule you. I'll arrange the appropriate medication for you to help things along and perhaps there is someone you would like to talk with? I can arrange someone for you? As you have admitted you won't be safe from harming yourself, I think it should be a priority"

"Dave" Niall said suddenly.

"I'm sorry. Is he on the staff here?" the doctor asked, trying to see if the name rang a bell with him.

"No, he was at the facility in Arizona. We kinda hit it off." Niall replied, a slight frown on his face. "Maybe I could call him, talk, ya'know?"

" We have excellent doctors here, Niall, that would be able to help you. I'm sure you would benefit from talking with them." Mr Hayes-Hamilton was reluctant to let  someone from outside the hospital get involved with his patients care. And  this hospital employed only the best.

"No, I want to talk with Dave....please. I'll take the medication and I'll talk, if that's what you want, but it's Dave I need. Please?" Niall begged. Mr Hayes-Hamilton sighed. He was reluctant to allow this to happen but if it meant Niall would comply with treatment he'd have to give permission though it was highly unorthodox.

"If you think that would help, then please contact him. If he can't or isn't able to help, then I'll arrange something" the doctor concluded. "Either way, Niall, I think it is something you need immediately. Right, I'll write you up for the medication, you try and eat and we'll see how it goes ". He stood up and walked to the door then turned. "You can do this, Niall. It's a blip not the loss of the battle.

Niall lay back against his pillows. his mind racing as he thought through his conversation with Mr Hayes-Hamilton. He supposed he should have recognised the depression for what it was, he'd been there before, but somehow it had slipped under his radar. Mind made up, he pushed himself upright and picked up his phone, scrolling through his contacts.

"Hey Dave, it's Niall. Things are going to sh*t for me. I need you".

"