Raising Daniel

7

After we had cleaned up the mess we'd created, Lily and I took out the cakes and decorated them with buttercream and Smarties. We each took one and ate it quickly before Hannah could see us, giggling away. She was such a sweet little girl, so cheeky and cute, so much like her Mum.

Hannah cooked a quick dinner of fish fingers, chips and peas for the four of us, apologising profusely the whole time we ate at the large table in the dinning room.

'Its Lily's favourite.' She said. 'She would eat it every night if she could. But we reserve it for a Friday-after-nursery-treat.'

'I love fish fingers.' I told her. And it was about all I could cook too. I'd lived off take aways since starting university and had never learnt how to cook anything. Then being away from home a lot, I often ate out or phone room service. As we ate quietly, I kept glancing over at Hannah. She caught my eye a few times, replying with a grin. She had raised the girls so well on her own. They were polite and well mannered. I couldn't begin to comprehend how difficult it must be to lose the love of your life and be left with all the pieces to put back together. She truly was an amazing woman.

Soon after dinner, it was the girls bedtimes. Lily protested, kicking and screaming all through her Mum bathing her. Maddie went straight to her room to finish her homework for school, I wished her goodnight and I sat in the cosy living room, gazing up at the family photos. There were hundreds, all doted across every wall, all different sizes and frames. And each one was beautiful. Mostly of the girls, from newborn up to recently. A few of their Dad with them. He beamed out of the frames. He had been a tall, older guy, with auburn hair and a small beard. I hadn't asked much about him, what he did or how he'd passed away. Hannah would tell me in her own time.

That day had given me so much to think about. I had no doubt in my mind that I wanted to be with Hannah. When she had first told me about the children, I'd had my concerns. I'd never imagined myself as a father. It wasn't something that I'd really thought about. I didn't know if I would be a good Dad. But if I wanted Hannah, she came as part of a package.

Hannah slumped down on the sofa next to me. I noticed she still had batter in her hair. I picked it out for her and we both laughed.

'Tiring day, huh?' I said.

'Thats nothing.'

'Oh Christ. How did I do?'

'You did well. Lily is fond of you. Maddie will warm up to you in time.'

'The girls are amazing, and so they should be, they have you as a mother.' I kissed her neck, behind her ear, her lips.

'I was so nervous that you wouldn't like them.' She confessed.

'Why would I not like them? They're lovely, beautiful.'

'I was worried that you'd be put off...I like you. A lot. Probably more than a lot. And I know that some guys don't like women with kids and all this baggage and then my husband being dead and-'

I stopped her talking with a kiss. She'd said the magic words. 'I like you. A lot. More than a lot.' Did that mean she felt like I did? I wanted to burst. I wanted to tell her I loved her and I worshipped the ground she walked on. That I wanted to marry her right now and be the father to her kids and have more babies. Sod my career. I'd quit right there and then so I could spent every moment with her.

'I like you a lot too.' I settled with that. It was too soon to be blurting all that out, scaring her away. She curled herself up into a ball and snuggled into my side. I put an arm around her, keeping her safe. What I'd give to keep her like this forever.

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Sorry it's a short one! Shall I post another?