Raising Daniel

The End

The church was done up beautifully. The sun was streaming in through the stained glass windows, casting colorful patterns on the stone floor. Each and every flower had been hand picked and white and purple ribbons hung all around. It was the same place Hannah and I had married in. And the same place we'd laid her to rest. I couldn't believe twenty years had passed and we were back here again. It felt like nothing had changed, yet everything had.

All the bridesmaids looked stunning in their purple dresses. And the groomsmen stood tall and proud in their suits. The music began to play, signaling that the ceremony had begun. I took in a deep breath and nervously straightened out my tie. The doors swung open and I had just a moment left to turn to the beautiful bride beside me.

'You look amazing.' I told her. She beamed back up at me. I'd never been so proud.

'Thanks Dad.' She whispered. The congregation all turned to us, waiting for us to walk down the aisle. I took her arm in mine and gave it a quick squeeze. I knew she'd be nervous. I'd been through this before with her older sisters and twice myself.

Maddie and Lily were with Sasha on the front row, each sat with their own children. I couldn't contain the smile on my face and it felt as thought my cheeks might fall off. I was so insanely happy. Everyone was here today. All our family, friends, band mates, college and school friends. Everyone except one. That still hurt as much as it did when Hannah had died. Especially at moments like this. And there had been so many moments. When Maddie gave birth to her sons Archie and Noah. When she got married to Matt. Then when Lily had gone off to University in America and became a hugely successful doctor at just twenty four, and then came home to get married too. And now Scarlett, my youngest daughter, was marrying the man she loved. The only consolation was that I'd shared those moments with Sasha.

I'd had my own little freak out when we'd arrived home from our American radio tour after Sasha and I had agreed to be together. What if it didn't work? What if I fell madly in love with her, and I was already half way there, and she didn't feel the same? What if she got sick and died, just like Hannah? Could I even put us through that again. But after a few months together, all my worries had faded away and I embraced being happy. The feeling was odd to begin with, foreign and confusing. And then things had sort of clicked into place.

There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think of Hannah and I'm sure Sasha was the same. She knew how much I'd loved her and she never let it get in between us, because I did love Sasha just as much. Hannah's death had brought us together, but we had love to keep us together. Every day that passed I fell for her just a little more. The things she said, the way she rolled her eyes at me when she was annoyed, her thirst for life. If I ever had a bad day at work, all she had to do was smile at me and everything was forgotten.

I took my seat next to Sasha, having given away my last daughter. I was glad it was done, because I couldn't afford another wedding. And that was it, all my girls had grown up and flown the nest. Noah jumped up onto my lap and we watched the ceremony. My youngest grandson, by only two minutes, looked very smart in his little suit with matching purple tie. I loved those little guys madly. I would look after them as much as I could with my work schedule and I looked forward to coming back to Britain just some could see them. My girls had grown up far too quickly and I didn't want to miss a moment of my grandsons lives.

'Congratulations!' I heard a familiar booming voice as we left the church. I didn't even need to turn around to know it was Kyle, looking so much older than I'd remembered, even in just the couple of years since Lily's wedding. His hair was greying, not unlike my own, his beard long gone, but still that mischievous smile on his face. He practically jumped onto me for a hug and I embraced my former brother. It had been a long time since we had worked together. We had continued to tour for a while but after four years we amicably decided to call it a day. I missed it a lot. The girls had been at home on the road and we'd all become one big distorted family. But I was glad to finally settle down in our new home with Sasha. Now I worked in America for a record company, writing and producing songs.

'I cannot believe that baby Scarlett is all grown up.' Will gushed, having thrown his arm around me too. Woody shook my hand. They each looked so different to the men I'd known twenty five years ago. We all beamed stupidly at each other for a few minutes. There was so much we all had to talk about and to catch up on. But for that moment, I had my daughter and new son in law to take to their reception.

I gave my third and final fathers speech at the head table. I hated these things. And with each one I found it harder to write and stand up in front of so many people. I could sing in front of thousands of people. But I struggled in a room of a hundred. And this one felt so different. The last one. And probably the last time all these people would be in the same room together.

'Thank you all so much for coming here today to share the happiness of my daughter Scarlett and new son, William. No doubt you're all dying for that free bar to open, and I'm sure you also know that this will be the last wedding I have to pay for, so don't be shy, hey?' The room erupted into laughter. I nervously loosened my tie. It felt like a million degrees up here. 'This is the part where I am supposed to tell a tale of Scarlett getting into trouble or some embarrassing incident involving her first boyfriend coming to our house and me walking in on them in a compromising situation. But I wouldn't do that to my little baby.' She glared up at me and then buried her head under her veil. Again, the room roared. 'But no. I will tell you all that this beautiful young woman that sits before me is my heart. From the day she was born and today more than ever, I have had the pleasure of raising her on my own. But it's only just occurred to me that maybe she was the one who raised me. It was her that showed me who I could really be. I never thought I could be a father, though I'd helped with her sisters a little. Her birth and the loss of her mother were the wake up call I'd needed. And I had the amazing pleasure of watching her grow and turn into this beautiful woman. Each time I look at her I am reminded of her mother and saddened that she couldn't be here to share this moment. But instead I have everyone in this room, and without each and every one of you, I would not have been able to cope. So, thank you to everyone here and those not here. Now I'm sure I'm going on too much. The bars open!' I declared. I wouldn't be exaggerating to say there was a stampede to buy alcohol.

I watched from the sidelines as my three daughters, my two grandsons and my wife danced. This was the one moment of my life that I felt the happiest. This very scene here. There had been a million highs and just as many lows. But this was the one. I had done this. I had successfully reared three children and convinced not one, but two people to marry me. And I'd done a pretty good job.