Raising Daniel

41

The whole of the next day I spent yawning and desperately trying to keep my eyes open, all while juggling three children and three radio interviews. The only thing that kept me going was seeing Sasha's smug face through the glass to studio we were in.

'Why are you so tired?' Woody asked me quietly inbetween questions. 'I thought you got back around midnight?' I'd never been so glad that Woody and Kyle were such heavy sleepers. I'd managed to sneak in and get away without telling them I'd been out all night.

'Have you ever slept on a sofa?' I retorted. He laughed and let it go. I didn't want the world knowing, not yet. It was too soon. I wasn't even sure if this was going to work. Between my job, her job and university, the children and my past, we had a lot to contend with. But I was determined I wasn't going to let her slip away from me. Will eyed me up suspiciously.

I did my best to distract myself from her all day, but it was hard. The last thing I wanted was to draw attention to something going on between us, but every time she glanced at me, I felt myself blush. And I swear she had noticed and was doing it on purpose.

'This is the listening figures from yesterday's interview.' She came round behind me, as we all ate our lunch in the cafeteria, leaning right over my shoulder so I could smell her hair and putting a piece of paper under my nose. I coughed nervously and she did the slightest of laughs in my ear. Again, Will looked at me. Everyone else seemed to be oblivious.

I seized my chance ten minutes later when she went to find a bottle warmer for Scarlett's milk. I followed her out the room using the excuse of needing the toilet and cornered her on the other side of the double doors.

'You're driving me mad.' I told her, holding her hands in mine. She laughed.

'I know. I thought it was funny.'

'We need to be careful. For now.' I told her gently. She nodded her head but still that cheeky smile stayed on her face.

'I love seeing you squirm.'

'Oh yeah? How about I make you squirm?' I leant in and kissed her neck. Her skin was always so soft and warm. And she smelled so good. I was intoxicated by her and I didn't know how I could control myself around her for much longer. The next few weeks were going to be painfully fun. Her phone buzzed and she went to retrieve it from her pocket but I held her hand away.

'I have to answer it.' I locked my lips on hers, feeling the fire in my stomach and tingles in my fingers. 'Dan.' She sighed. 'Its probably the record company. I can't exactly tell them I missed their call because I was conoodling with their main star.' We both laughed. She broke away and answered it, heading into another room for privacy, leaving me stood in the hall, alone. But not before she'd blown me a kiss.

'I know what you're up to.' A voice came suddenly from behind me. I didn't need to turn around to know who it was. Will was grinning like a Cheshire Cat.

'You caught me.' I held my hands up.

'I knew you couldn't stay away from her.'

'Don't tell anyone, ok?'

'Of course I won't.' He smirked. I knew full well he was bursting to run back into the cafeteria and blurt it out to everyone.

'Will, don't.'

'I won't!' He protested.

'I don't want the girls knowing, not yet. They'll disown me. Maddie will never talk to me again.'

'They love her. You love her.' He playfully punched my arm and I couldn't help but grin too. 'Don't go over thinking thinks like you always do.'

'I don't overthink-'

'Yeah you do. I'm surprised you're not freaking out right now.'

'I know.' I laughed. He knew me too well. I was freaking out in my head. This was utterly terrifying. The only other adult relationship I'd been in had ended in heartbreaking tragedy. And I was now embarking on a new one with three children in tow.

The door behind which Sasha had disappeared, opened. Will scampered off but not fast enough.

'Hi Sasha.' He waved awkwardly.

'Hi Will.' She smiled politely.

'I'm, erm, just going....in here.' And he ran away like a little coward. I turned to Sasha.

'Will knows, doesn't he?' She asked. I nodded. 'Maybe we should just tell people.'

'Not yet.'

When?'

'About fifteen years?' I suggested. She shook her head, giving me a mock despairing stare. 'I'll tell the girls. Soon.' I hugged her quickly before going back into the cafeteria, Sasha joining a minute later as not to arouse suspicion.

'We've just hired a tour bus. A proper one.' She told us. It made more sense rather than using multiple cars and hotel rooms. Now we'd all be bunked up together. Which was fantastic for everyone else, especially Lily who had an affinity with tour buses and bunk beds. But for me it meant having to control myself every minute around Sasha.

'How many beds is it?' Kyle wondered out loud and I saw him counting our group. With us, the kids, tour manager Dick, sound guy Coop and Sasha, that made ten.

'8.'

'Who's sharing then?' Woody asked.

'Dan and Sasha.' Will suggested. If looks could kill, Will would've been dead. I could have lunged at his throat. I could hear my own nervous laugh. Sasha ignored the comment.

'Its not arriving until Friday, after Woody and Maddie have flown home, so there's enough room, don't worry.' She didn't miss a beat. I had to admire her organisational skills. Not only did she have our tour to arrange but she was also half way through her midwifery degree. I had no idea how she coped with it all, or had enough time in the week to fit it all in. And now she was about to take on me and three children.