I'm pretty fucked up. I've hurt so many people for reasons so selfish and I'm just a screwed up person in general. I've been so focused on the future, I forgot all the people I forced to join the past. All the people that have ever truly cared about me, I hurt and tore apart without a second thought and i just really hate myself for it. I'm such a heartless fuck and no matter how much I try, I can't change and I keep losing the ones who care and keeping the ones who don't. It's pretty true that "you never realize what you had until it's gone". Some things you can never get back no matter how much you try, and that sucks too. So, here I am. Crying at 12 a.m. about all the shitty mistakes I made and people I hurt. In reality, and no matter what twisted way any of you are gonna try to make me feel better, this is all my fault and my decisions. I have to pay for the outcomes of them. So to all the hearts I broke or hurt, even though a band-aid can't fix a bullet hole, I'm sorry for everything. And if on the off chance it helps, I'm doing pretty shitty without you.
