I can't help but think about it.
His arms around you,
Your drunken lips against his skin,
You doing things we never do.
I should've been there,
Maybe i could've prevented it,
Maybe i would've only prevented it for only a little longer,
But I wish I was there.
I wish I held you,
I wish I kept you warm,
I wish nothing ever happened that night.
I feel like an idiot, and i know i shouldn't feel this way,
But i miss you, and it fucking sucks.
The one thing that made me feel genuinely happy, is now the biggest thing fucking me up.
And I don't think you even care or understand.
You want me to trust you,
And i want to,
But look where the fuck we are now.
I can't even look at you without remembering it.
I remember the phone calls from my friends, I thought it was a prank.
A fucked up joke.
Then time went by, they sobered up, and called again.
Then, I realized you didn't care.
You sent me videos before it happened too, maybe even after, i'm not even sure.
I wanna trust you,
I want to fix things,
I want us to be as good as we were just a day before this,
But I can't do it.
You wouldn't have told me anything if they didn't bring it up.
You call me a liar and say i assume things,
But you did exactly that.
You didn't tell me, You assumed it was ok, and You're the reason that night happened.
I should've been a stronger person, and a tougher guy.
Next time, i won't be this way.
Not anymore.
