This is all I ever wanted.
I dreamt of this, cried for this, and killed so many parts of myself for this.
So why am I hesitating now that it's in arm's reach?
Countless nights, i'd mourn the life I never had, praying to the punishing skies for leniency.
So why am I hesitant to take it when it's presented to me?
For so long, I told myself if I didn't get this chance at life, I didn't want one to begin with.
So what am I doing?
Why am I holding off?
I know this is nothing i would've let stop me in the late hours past midnight, but here i am.
So this is my one way road.
I can either sit and wait till I can safely proceed forward, at the expense of whats left of my childhood/leading my depression into darker pits, or I can walk blind.
Even though walking blind would be a hit or miss.
I either find temporary peace, or I end up roadkill for the world's vultures to pick apart till there is nothing left but chipped bones of a body I once inhabited.
I know what I need to do, and I know the cost of not, so why am I so scared?
Why is my biggest dream
becoming my biggest nightmare all at once?
