I've noticed my moods are spiking again. The only recent change I can think of really is not taking the bus for almost two weeks. I just get really angry again, especially when I feel "unwanted" i guess. I haven't been acting on it, but I definitely do have an inner debate on a daily. It's like a constant struggle for me to decide to "be a good person" or to allow my motions to get the best of me. I'm starting to think this is just what happens when I feel like i'm locked into the same things everyday/same routine everyday. Allowing myself time to reflect on my life and decisions in a positive environment was kind of like medicine or self therapy (much like this book).
Apart from how i currently feel, i've made a few more big steps regarding project: Finding Leo. I've finally saved up and ordered the rest of the recording equipment I need in order to professionally record my music! I'm extremely happy about this and can't wait till the 17th to get everything out of the mail. I'll be sure to update sometime by the end of this week on how everything goes!
Also, believe it or not, I've been working out everyday for a week so far and I feel pretty good about it. Not sure if i'm pushing it, but I see a slight change in my thighs (nothing noticeable unless you usually stare at me the way i do). I'm not sure if it's a change towards the direction i'm hoping for one day, but I guess time will tell. I have my ideal body in mind, and I believe I can achieve a rough scratch version of it if I keep trying hard enough lol. I've been searching around for boxing classes nearby/boxing gyms as well. I know theres always room for improvement, and i'm ready to take that step.
I can't really tell if this was a positive or negative entry, so i'll just end this by saying that I love you all, support/appreciate the good things you do, and don't want you to stay up late tonight picking yourself apart for whatever reason. One day, we'll both like the person we see.
Stay safe < 3
