His

Chapter 43 - My Story

^^Nicolas ^^
**Nicolas POV**

Why did Julian have to tell.me everything? I mean, it's been a week since he has told me, but it's been on my mind. Replaying all that he said and if that wasn't bad enough, I'm beginning to visualize the torment. I hate myself for it. Why did I have to be such an ass?

I love the man for God's sake and I literally can't tell him my worst fears. Whereas he sat in front of me, telling me his life story, one full of pain and anguish.

I wish I could open up like that to him, it's hard though. It's not something people talk about, hell it's not something people think about.

"Nicolas." Julian whispered against the back of my neck. Effectively stealing from my negative thoughts and turn my mind into mush at the sound of his rough voice.

"I want to tell you everything, Julian. I really do, but I don't want you to look at me differently. Fuck, it's bad enough I'm disowned because of it." I gripped the hand that was wrapped around my waist.

"It's okay. I'm not going to push you to tell me. I've already done that once and I've learned my lesson." Julian placed a small kiss on my shoulder.

"I'm scared. It's not because of the rejection that you'll have toward me. It's that feeling of you, being disgusted by me because of it." Tears pricked the corners of my eyes.

"Nicolas, I feared the same thing when I told you of my past. Yet, you proved your love and dedication to me by sticking by my side and not leaving me. I love you, Nicolas. Don't forget that." He gave my hand a quick squeeze.

"When I was younger, seven or eight, I'd say. I killed my father, not on purpose or anything like that. He was leaving us, my family. He found a better wife with better kids and more money.

"My mom, of course, called him everything under the sun for it. And my sister blames a lot of stuff that goes wrong with her life on him because of what had happened. I, on the other hand, was happy for him at the time. I mean, I wasn't thinking of any kind of family issues that could've happened.

"It was the second Christmas that dad had left and this was the year that I got to meet my new stepmother and siblings. Everything was going great, until about midnight. One of Dorthy's girls sneaked into my room. She found a lot of my stuff, stuff I was hiding because I wasn't out of the closet yet.

"She made a deal with me, well the other way around really. I would do anything she asked if she let me stay in the closet. Of course I took it. Both, well, all three of my parents were homophobic. I mean, there wasn't anything compromising there besides my spank bank material.

"Well this girl was older than me and wasn't experienced in the whole sex department. She thought it would be great to feel up my cock. And it made her whole year when my dad walked in on her feeling me up. She spewed bullshit from her mouth faster than it was coming in.

"I freaked out. Touching someone, who was your stepsister, was a huge no-no. So I came out of the closet the night before Christmas." I took a shuttering breath.

"Fuck." Julian muttered against my skin.

"Fuck indeed. He ran out of the house, pissed off. I was crying and that girl was screaming at me, throwing insults right and left.

"The next morning came and there was an officer at the door. He said dad was hit by a drunk driver. The vehicle was totaled and dad was dead."

"Nicolas." Julian rubbed my arm.

"I killed him. That's what they all said after they found out from my lovely stepsister that I was gay and that I made dad drive away mad."

"You didn't kill your dad. He was hit by a drunk driver. You weren't in the opposing vehicle, you weren't gunning it for your dad. From what it sounds like, it seems like you love him whole-heartedly."

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Whoop whoop! 113K! You guys are the bomb!

I love yall soooo much. I feuded to give you another sad chapter. Don't fret there will still be sex in the future.

Tell me what you think!

Love,

Nicky_Darling

XOXOXOXOXO