FOUR

CHAPTER 40

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The next morning came, Lisa woke up with eyes puffy from all her heavy crying last night. It was the first time she exploded that she had the courage to lash out to her father last night. She kind of felt a little fine somehow after saying all the things she wanted to say since then. It felt great inside her, but she worried that because of her ungrateful words last night, things might get worst.

But she just shrugged all of the worries that's been playing inside her mind, things were worst already from the start anyways, she thought. She slowly sat up from her bed, wincing in pain when she felt her head throbbed in pain. It felt like she was drunk last night, and she's having a hungover now. She felt like all the water in her system was drained because of the waterfall like tears she gave out last night.

She didn't notice that she had cried herself to sleep. It really sucked to sleep with a heavy feeling. She gave out a tired deep sigh before standing up and headed to the bathroom inside her bedroom. She smiled bitterly seeing her reflection on the mirror – eyes red and puffy, cheeks stained with tears, her once chubby cheeks that everyone loved was slowly deflating because of her minimal eating.

She sighed again and grabbed her hair in frustration, "Aish, what have you been doing with yourself, Manoban?" she scolded herself as she scanned herself more, her bright aura obviously drifted away from her since she came back home. She frowned at the light bruise that she found on one of her cheek, it pained her to realize that it was caused by her father.

"Aish, pathetic," she uttered one last time before heading to her bathtub to have a nice, relaxing bath. She filled it up with water and soap and once everything's prepared, she dipped in and closed her eyes hoping that even just for one day, her mind could relax from all her problems.

Silence surrounded the whole bathroom.

Memories of her and her unnies playing, and goofing around, flashed back in her mind. She smiled at the thought while eyes still closed. And gosh, she missed them.

She missed the people who she first met ever since she stepped foot in Korea. The people who taught her the Korean culture to avoid making fun of herself, and to be get fooled by other people. She was thankful that she had found the right persons to be with while she was away with her family.

When she thought about family, her smile slowly dropped into a frown. All the happenings surrounding her made her feel like the girls treated her more like a family than her own true one, especially the last night's events. She slowly opened her eyes as a look of disbelief washed over her when she remembered the slap her father gave her.

It was hard and painful. Sure her words were very impolite, but she couldn't believe that her father would go to the extent of hurting her physically, like he hasn't been hurting her emotionally. Unconsciously, her hand traced the cheek where her father hit her. It was the first time that it gave her a slight trauma.

She felt more hurt realizing that her father didn't do that to her older sister. It just really felt unfair for her. She was close to her older sister, but she just couldn't avoid the thought of what did her sister have that she doesn't? She had been a good daughter too, just like her older sister, because she looked up to her very much, but her father seemed like not to acknowledge it, for all he did to her was be mean, harsh, and selfish...

All of these made her miss the girls more... If they were here they would probably be furious and want to fight for her. Especially Jennie, among them all she was the toughest one but also the softest. She smiled thinking about them. She wondered if they were doing well again, if the problems they had with the boys were already fixed, she wished nothing more but for things to be well again. She wondered if they would still be marching on their Graduation Day knowing that she wasn't there. She felt bad for because of her their long time goal would be put into waste, because she was never coming back there until her wedding was settled.