You changed my life.-Jake Gyllenhaal

-CHAPTER 83-

I cleaned my tears. I wasn't going to cry anymore. It should be me the one who is angry not him! If he doesn't want to be with me anymore he had to say it not do that! 
I cam sin trying to control my anger and without saying anything I went upstairs and walked to my soon ex bedroom. This wasn't in my plans, but due to this 'welcome', I understood it was the best for everyone. 

I changed my clothes quickly to ripped jeans and blouse and a thin jacket. I took my suitcase from the closet, the same one I brought from my mother's house. —Does everything you know how to do is escape? — a "YES" was the answer I had in mind. I started to get everything inside my suitcase. As much clothes as I could. Just my clothes that I bough with my money. Everything he gave me I was going to donate or he could just throw it away. pathetic, but I had to keep my dignity. 

I didn't want to leave, I didn't want to get away from him or Jennifer and Jared, my now family! I walked down some steps of the staircase in silence, if he wasn't going to speak to me neither was I. I knocked on the door willing to listen to him, but if he didn't have the interest to say anything, I wasn't going to make him do it. 

i stopped on the living looking towards the sofas, I saw Jake changing the channels on the TV and both kids sleeping by his side. I shivered and immediately wanted to cry again. 
I walked towards the door, as soon as I crossed the door the cold air that wasn't present when i came out of Zack's car made me shiver again. I closed the door. Leaving everything I had behind. 

—I admire how much you care — That cold voice made me stop when I was a few steps away from the door. 
—...Not as much as I admire how much you do—I said without looking at him. How could he say that and then ignore me — What do you want from me? to beg for an explanation? — I laughed hypocritically — You better wait for that sitting down Gyllenhaal.  
—I don't want you to beg for an exploration, but at least you should have given me the chance¡ to give it to you before leaving with Zack. .
— And what did you want Jake!— I said turning around throwing the suitcase on the floor. — For em to say "don't worry, get dressed and I'll wait here outside for your explanation, I'll wait for you to finish doing Casy! — I yelled. 
— No! but this is your way of fixing this! leaving?!
— What the fuck is wrong with you Jake? — I said with frustration — Now it's my fault? Now I am the one that needs to fix this? — I asked — i didn't make any "mistakes" — I said 
— So leasing with Zack wasn't a mistake?— He said angrily — Oh yeah sorry I forgot...
— What?— I asked not understanding his point. 
—We all know you're used to using people... — I exploded. 
— What are you trying to say?— I walked to him — You think I left wit Zack to have a revenge on you? 
—You said it first— Tears started to roll down my cheeks immediately. 
—You know what... it would be so easy to do it...Fuck him just as you did with Casy — He tensed up — But I didn't...even if you don't believe me. — my tears rolled down my face — And you have no idea, how much it hurts that you think like that about me Jake — I cleaned my tears— But it's good to hear it you know, now I realize how little trust you ever gave me... And what a shame that i really trusted you and you were the one to fuck things up, how could I be so stupid. 
—We both are... Maybe this should have never happened — He load down  and walked backwards. 
—...And you say it now— I said grabbing my suitcase — "I'll never leave you alone" — I said — Maybe you should have never sin that — I felt the cold air against my wet cheeks. 
—I guess. — He ciad putting his hands inside his pockets looking at me with no expression on his face. I turned around, took a deep breath before walking out of Gyllenhaal's life for ever.