Sally can wait

Always

I woke up in the middle of the night shaking, I couldn't breath, my heart was racing, going a million miles an hour. My face was wet with a mixture of sweat and tears. I looked beside me and the bed was empty, forgetting that Liam didn't stay the night. I was trying to get my bearings back, I haven't had a nightmare like that in forever. I was so hot I pulled the covers off my sweaty legs and let the cold air hit them. I got up and walked to the window opening it, as I got myself a joint I had made up in my sock drawer. I couldn't tell if I was still shaking or shivering.

The summer night was mild, not hot or cold but a pleasurable mixture of both, unusual for a Manchester summer night where it's usual freezing cold no matter what the day had been like. I looked across the road into Liam and Noels bedroom, the light was still on. I knew they would still be up since it was only 1 o'clock and they two never slept. It was torture, Liam would sit up till four in the morning and sleep till four the next day the lazy cunt.

It was only because it was summer and most days I would wake him up banging pots and pans at 11 in the morning. I sighed, debating going back to bed but I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep if I tried. I looked around my room, i saw a torch on the floor that I used when my light blew a few weeks ago. Once I got to the window I poked my head out it again. Noel and liams room was facing where Leo's room window would be and my room was practically the roof my window had a little roof of it's own. I poked my head out the window and checked to make sure the light was on before climbing onto the roof.

Slowly crawling towards the edge of the house as I repositioned the torch to Liam and Noels window before flicking the light on and off as fast as I could praying that one of them would see. A few moments latter both heads popped up looking to see where the light was coming from. A huge grin appeared on liams face and Noel just rolled his eyes before pulling the window up.

"What the fuck you doing on the roof ya twat?" Noel whispered harshly.

"Having a fucking rave, want to join?" I whispering back.

"Are you mad? How we ment to get up there?" Liam laughed at me.

"You've done it lods Liam, don't act all innocent because Noel here" his face lit up like a Christmas tree, poor thing.

"Shut up, he told me he couldn't do it, every time I climb up your window it's using the fence" Noel said.

"What you doing climbing up to her window?" Liam demanded. Now I rolled my eyes.

"What does it matter t'you?"

"Because I asked you that's  what it matters"

"Fuck off, what you my mam?" Noel said pushing him. As amused as I was I couldn't be arsed watching them bicker.

"Oh fur fuck sake you two, cut it out" I said.

"Why's me brother climbing up to your window?" Liam asked me.

"I have good weed"
"she has good weed"

Me and Noel both said. Liam sighed, maybe annoyed or relieved I couldn't tell. See that was the thing, Noel took on the big brother role once Leo passed away, he asked about the things no one cared about.

"How's school? How's yer mam? What music you listning to these days? Do you like anyone? Do they treat you right? Do I need to kick some wankers balls into his stomach?" I guess now after that party everyone knew I was sleeping with Liam. But he was the only guy I'd ever slept with.

I don't feel that way about Noel, do I love him? Yes, he's the big brother I don't have anymore, i could never be in love with him. He means too much to me for me to cross that line. Liam on the other hand. He's my best friend, he's the one who asks me the shit Noel doesn't want to know.